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The following is a transcript of the entire Over the Garden Wall miniseries.


Chapter 1: The Old Grist Mill

[Into the Unknown plays as the visuals switch from various scenes: a toad playing the piano; a redheaded girl in a blue dress, petting her dog whilst sitting in the woods with a bird flying by in the background, and the girl--later revealed as Beatrice--looking back toward the bird; a grinning black cat on a turkey-]drawn cart full of pumpkins; a circus with four long-legged instrumentalists, a juggling gorilla, and a ballerina dancing atop a galloping horse; a set of varied, wooden dolls; a nobleman holding a candle, looking upon a portrait before being startled by a moving shadow and the wind; an old woman with the top half of her face cut from the shot, using a pair of vintage bird scissors to cut a thread on a quilt; two jovial, sailor-looking boys sitting on the rocks that border a river, one winding up a steamboat before setting it on the water; a rear-view of an unknown character--later known as Lorna--setting a candle down on the shelf in a catacomb-like area; a large fish on a wooden boat in a murky river, fishing; an unknown character--later revealed as Greg--picking up a rock from the ground; and a view of a young woman, later known as the Woodsman's Daughter, stood in front of a well with the Woodsman chopping logs in the background, the young woman looking off to the side as it pans toward the forest. It cuts to the title sequence as the song turns more nostalgic, and then moves to brief shots of blurry images, later figured to be Wirt, Gregory, and Greg's frog in the lake, before the story begins.

The scenery now goes to the forested depths of the Unknown, with Wirt and Greg walking as the latter rambles.]

Greg: ...Antelope, Guggenheim, Albert, Salami, Giggly, Jumpy, Tom, Thomas, Tambourine, Leg-Face McCullen, Artichoke, Pete, Steve... But I think the very worst name for this frog is--

Wirt: Wait, wait a second. Uh...Greg?

[Owl hooting]

[Squirrels chittering]

Wirt: Where...are we?

Greg: In the woods?

Wirt: I mean...what are we, doing out here?

Greg: We're walking home!

Wirt: [visibly distressed] Greg! I-I think we're lost! We, w-we should've left a trail or something.

Greg: [throwing candy on the ground from his pants] I can leave a trail of candy from my pants!!

Wirt: [sighs] No. though I am lost, my wounded heart resides back home--in pieces--strewn about the graveyard of my lost love. For only--

[Axe chopping in the distance]

Wirt: [gasps] Do you hear that?

Greg: Yeah.

Wirt: [quickly] Do you think it's some strange lunatic with an axe waiting out there in the darkness for innocent victims? [Greg runs away; Wirt calls after in a hushed whisper] Greg!

[Squirrels chittering; Wirt makes a frightened sound before following after Greg]

Wirt: [whispering] Greg, you're going to get us into trouble again! [gasps]

[A stranger, later known as The Woodsman, is singing incoherently while gathering Edelwood.]

Greg: [whispering] We should ask him for help!

Wirt: [whispering] No, we should not ask him for help.

Greg: But--!

Wirt: Shh!

Greg: No, you shh!

Wirt: You shh!

Greg: Shhh--!! [Wirt covers Greg's mouth; Greg makes muffled sounds]

[The Woodsman leaves into another area of the forest.]

Wirt: [normal volume] Shoot. Y-You think we should've asked him for help?

Beatrice, from atop a branch: Maybe I can help you. I mean, you guys are lost, right?

Wirt: [dumbfounded; gasps, slaps his own face a few times] What, in the world is going on?!

Greg: Well you're slapping yourself, and I'm answering your question, and--

Wirt: No, Greg, a-a bird's brain isn't big enough for cognizant speech.

Beatrice: [annoyed] Hey, what was that?

[Greg sticks a piece of candy on a black turtle as Wirt speaks]

Wirt: I mean, I-I'm just saying, you're, you're weird, like, not normal, I, I mean--[hushed] oh gosh, stop talking to it, Wirt...

Beatrice: [more annoyed] It?

[Greg sticks another piece of candy on Wirt's cape]

Wirt: Uh, I, I-I'm--[yells in surprised fear]

Woodsman: [angered] What're you doing here?! Explain yourselves!!

Beatrice: [flies away] Aaand I'll see you guys later, bye.

Wirt: [voice cracks; clearly fearful] Calm, calm down, mister! Wh-Whatever you do here is your business! W-W-We just wanna get home with all our legs and arms attached!!

Woodsman: These woods are no place, for children! Don't you know the Beast is afoot here?

Wirt: The Beast?? W-W-We, we-we don't know anything about that! W-We're just two lost kids, trying to get home!

Woodsman: Well, welcome to the Unknown, boys. You're more lost than you realize.

[The scene changes to the Grist Mill.]

Woodsman: I found this homestead abandoned, and re-purposed its mill, for, my, needs. [uses a piece of flint and some steel to light a fire in the fireplace] You and your brother, should be safe here, while I work.

Greg: [setting pieces of candy on the floor while moving backwards] Candy trail, candy trail, can-dy-trail...

Wirt: [slightly nervous] What, what is your...work, exactly?

Woodsman: ...Everyone has a torch to burn, [pats the lantern by his side] and this here's mine. I grind the horrid Edelwood trees into oil, to keep this lantern lit. [breaks an Edelwood branch, throws it aside] This is my lot in life, this is my burden.

Wirt: [hushed, to Greg] This guy sounds loony. Maybe we should make a break for it, i-if we can. But he must know the woods really well, so we may need to knock him out, first. Except...that might turn out really badly, huh? Yeah, bad, bad plan, eh, forget it, bad plan.

Greg: [normal volume] Okay.

Woodsman: What're you boys whispering about?

Greg: We were talking about runnin' away outta here.

Wirt: Shh!!

Greg: Shh--

Wirt: Shh!

Greg: Shoosh!!

Woodsman: [groans with effort as he stands] Leave, if you wish. But remember: the Beast, haunts, these woods, ever singiiiing, his moournful melodyyy... [suddenly more urgent] In search of lost souls, such as yourselves!

Greg: To help us?

Woodsman: No, not to help you. I have work to do in the mill. When I'm finished, I will do what I can to guide you. If you are still here when I return. [Exits the living room into the mill]

Wirt: ...Huh. I guess...we could just leave. But, eh, I don't know...Greg!

Greg: [swings a log] What?

Wirt: Do you think there really is a Beast out there? [Greg walks over to a decorative bird sculpture, and swings it] Or, is, is that guy just messing with us?

Greg: [distractedly] Uh-huh.

Wirt: I mean, he--could've done away with us by now, if that was his plan. And he lit that fire, that's...pretty nice.

Greg: Yeah!

Wirt: I guess it's possible there's a Beast, since there was a talking bird, but...

Greg: Yeah!!

Wirt: [sighs] I dunno. Sometimes I feel like I'm just like...[melodramatically, almost trance-like] a boat, upon a winding river...twisting, towards an endless black sea...

[Greg grunts as he swings what looks to be a banjo]

Wirt: [still melodramatic] Further, and further, drifting away...from where I want to be--who!--I want to be...

Greg: Oh, I didn't know that. Did you know, that if you soak a raisin in grape juice, it turns into a grape? [takes a rock out of his satchel] It's a rock fact!

Wirt: [dejected] Augh, you're not helping at all...why don't you, go play with your frog, or something?

Greg: Aw, beans! Where is that frog o' mine? Hold on there, second-brother o' mine! I'll be back soon for your plan. [throws some more candy around before exiting the building]

[cuts to Greg outside the mill]

Greg: [hums] Kitty!! Kitty?? Now where did that frog named 'Kitty' go? Whup-- [trips on his own candy; still joyful voice] I tripped on my own candy trail!

[Animalistic growling in the distance]

Greg: Hm? [walks a bit toward the noise; a ribbit sound comes from the mill; Greg looks back] That frog's givin' me the run-around. [walks back, throwing candy around carelessly]

[Greg grunts some as he shimmies on top of a barrel just in front of a window on the mill; he peeks inside.]

Greg: Kiiitty?

[From Greg's view inside the mill, The Woodsman hums indistinctly as he grinds branches of Edelwood into oil, that of which he bottles for use.]

Greg: Gross.

[ribbit]

Greg: Kitty??

[growling from the woods]

Greg: [thoughtful; takes a step toward the noise] Hmm...is that--woah!! [falls into the barrel, on top of his frog] Oh, there you are!! [the frog ribbits]

[growling continues, growing closer as time goes on]

Greg: [concerned, somewhat fearful] Wirt? ...Kitty??

[A dog with piercing eyes peeks into the barrel and continues its growling.]

Greg: [scared] You have beautiful eyes!!

[screeching sounds]

[cut to inside the mill's living room, where Wirt plays with a bolero toy, frustrated that he can't solve it.]

Wirt: Yeugh... [creaking and the sound of wood breaking from outside startle him; wariness shows in his voice] Greg? Uh...?

[a clattering sound from the next room; footsteps, and the Woodsman enters]

Woodsman: What's happening? Where's your brother?

Wirt: [shrugging] Ah-enuh!

Greg: [dazed] Oh holy moley, hot dog--!! [knocked back to a flight of stairs by the dog's entrance]

Wirt: [startled] It's the Beast!!

Woodsman: Stay back, boys!! [Greg, wielding a piece of wood, starts down the steps as the Woodsman speaks] This creature, which is known as--huh?? [Greg knocks the hat off the Woodsman's head; the Woodsman stumbles, and falls unconscious on a log.]

Wirt: [disbelief in his voice] GREG, WHY DID YOU DO THAT!!

Greg: That was the plan, remember?? Knock him out!

Wirt: Eh no!! Ah, bad plan!! [the dog stalks toward Wirt, who uses the fireplace gate as a shield] I told you to forget that plan!! Ahhh!!!

Greg: [spanks the dog with the handle of the Woodsman's axe] Spank, spank...spank!!

Wirt: [runs to the mill portion of the building, voice frantic] Run run run run run run run!!!!

Greg: Caaaandyyy, camouflage!! [throws candy in the air, grabs his frog, and follows Wirt] Run run run run run run run!

[the dog follows, and gets stuck under a gear while pursuing Wirt]

Wirt: Greg!!!

Greg: [comes into the frame] This is amazing, huh??

[the dog comes free; Wirt spots a sack of potatoes nearby, and throws a few at the dog before tossing the entire sack at it]

Greg: Am I supposed to throw something? [the dog makes a loud, screech-yell-like noise] Oh yeah! [throws candy from his pants] Haha!

[the dog eats the sweets]

Wirt: [slight surprise] He's eating your candy?

Greg: I wonder if he ate my whole candy trail that lead to this mill!

Wirt: [angered] Augh! [smacks Greg's teapot] Greg!! You lead the Beast right to us with your candy!!!

[the dog flips over the platform Wirt and Greg stood on; the toppled platform separates Wirt and Greg from the dog]

Wirt and Greg: Euh...

Wirt: Hey, [takes the axe] eh, gimme the axe; y-you're too little to have it anyway, I--[the dog scratches at the wooden platform; Wirt's distressed] Ah-Ahhh, w-w-we gotta, we gotta get outta here!

[Greg points toward a ladder, and the brothers use it to reach the roof of the mill; the dog bursts through the roof]

Wirt: [scared] Ahh!!! Uhh, G-Greg, eh, g-give him the rest of your candy!!

Greg: [searches his pants, but no candy remains; he spots the piece he put on Wirt's cape earlier, and throws it off the roof to the waterwheel] Whoops!

[the dog jumps off after it, and spits out a black turtle from the force of the waterwheel on its body; the roof falls apart, and Wirt along with Greg fall into the river nearby. Wirt surfaces, and reaches land.]

Greg: [offscreen] Hey Wirt, look!

Wirt: Greg?

Greg: Wirt! [cuts to Greg and his frog atop the dog, who is now tame] He spit out that turtle, and now he's my new best friend!! [the dog shakes the water, Greg, and Greg's frog, off itself] Ouhh--oh...Hey, where ya goin'??

[the dog ambles off]

Greg: Ain't that just the way...

Woodsman: [anguished] The mill is destroyed...the oil! All gone!!

Wirt: But, b-but look! We, w-we got the Beast problem solved. [points to the dog, who now lays asleep on the grass]

Woodsman: [furious] That dog?! That is NOT the Beast!! [takes his axe from Wirt] The Beast cannot be mollified like some farmer's pet!!!

Woodsman: He stalks, like the night--[swings his axe through a nearby rock]--he sings like the Four Winds--[wind howling]--he is the Death of Hope!! He steals their children, and, he'll...ruuuiiin...[mumbles]

Wirt: [hushed, angered; knocks Greg's teapot] You're always messing up, Greg.

Woodsman: Boy!! You, have it backwards!! You are the elder child! You are responsible for you, and your brother's actions!!

Wirt: Ah, Ahm, I-I'm sorry. Maybe I can...fix it? [to himself] I...I can't fix it.

Woodsman: [forlornly] You must go. Take your brother north. Look for a town.

Wirt: Yeah. Thanks. [leads Greg by the hand north] Come on, Greg.

Woodsman: One last thing! Beware, the Unknown! Fear the Beast! And leave these woods!! [quieter] If you can. [louder again] It is your burden to bear!

Wirt: Right, yeah, ah, got it.

Woodsman: [more gentle] And you, little one. You look after that frog; give it a proper name.

Greg: [the frog ribbits] Okay.

[transition to Wirt and Greg walking through the moonlit forest]

Greg: Wirt, I think I thought of a new name for our frog. I'm gonna call him, 'Wirt.'

Wirt: That's, gonna be really confusing.

Greg: No, I'm gonna call you 'Kitty.'

Wirt: What?? Maybe I'll start calling you 'Candy Pants.'

Greg: [ecstatic] Woah, yeah!! ['Wirt' ribbits] Good one, Wirt.

Wirt: Thanks.

Greg: I'm not talkin' to you. I'm talkin' to Wirt!

[fade to black]

Chapter 2: Hard Times at the Huskin' Bee

[ WIND RUSHING, PASTORAL MUSIC
PLAYS ]
[ TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS ]
[ PASTORAL MUSIC PLAYS ]
[ BIRDS CRYING ]
[ INSECTS CHIRPING ]
[ TURKEYS CLUCKING ]
>> [ BLOWING RASPBERRIES ]
>> IT'S ALMOST MORNING.
[ SIGHS ]
WE SHOULD'VE FOUND A TOWN BY
NOW.
THIS IS THE WAY THE WOODSMAN
TOLD US TO GO, RIGHT?
>> [ BLOWS RASPBERRY ]
HAVE YOU LISTENED TO ANYTHING
I'VE BEEN SAYING?
FOR THE LAST COUPLE HOURS, I'VE
BEEN SAYING --
[ BLOWING RASPBERRIES ]
>> WELL, THAT SETTLES IT.
I'M GONNA WALK UP 10 FEET AHEAD
OF YOU.
>> HELP!
>> HUH?
>> I'M STUCK!
>> I HEAR SOMETHING!
>> IT'S PROBABLY NOTHING.
HEY, LOOK.
"POTTSFIELD, 1 MILE."
A TOWN! LET'S GO THIS WAY.
>> OKAY, LET'S GO THIS WAY.
>> NOT -- UGH.
>> HELLO? HELLO?
>> HEY, YOU.
>> WHO? ME?
>> YEAH, YOU.
>> OH. HELLO.
>> [ GASPS ]
IT'S YOU AGAIN. I'M STUCK.
HELP ME OUT OF HERE, AND I'LL
OWE YOU A FAVOR.
>> WHOA! I GET A WISH?
>> NO, NO, NO. NOT A WISH.
I'M NOT MAGICAL.
I'LL JUST DO YOU A GOOD TURN.
>> CAN YOU TURN ME INTO A TIGER?
>> UM, NO.
I JUST SAID I'M NOT MAGICAL.
>> IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE A
MAGICAL TIGER.
>> GREG, STOP TALKING TO A BUSH.
>> OKAY.
>> HUH?
>> THANKS. I OWE YOU A FAVOR.
SO, UM, YOU TWO ARE LOST KIDS
WITH NO PURPOSE IN LIFE, RIGHT?
>> UH-HUH.
>> HOW ABOUT I BRING YOU TO
ADELAIDE OF THE PASTURE, THE
GOOD WOMAN OF THE WOODS?
SHE COULD HELP YOU GET HOME.
>> OH.
>> N-NO, NO. NO, NO.
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
MAGIC TALKING BIRDS LEADING US
TO FAIRY GODMOTHERS IN THE
MYSTERIOUS...
I'M GOING TO POTTSFIELD.
>> YEAH, WE'RE GOING TO
POTTSFIELD.
COME ON.
>> WHAT ABOUT THE FAVOR?
>> I'LL THINK OF MY WISH LATER.
>> OHH.
[ ANIMALS CALLING ]
>> SO, LET'S SMALL-TALK.
MY NAME'S GREG. WHAT'S YOURS?
>> BEATRICE.
>> MY BROTHER'S NAME IS WIRT.
>> WHO CARES?
>> AND MY FROG'S NAME'S
WIRT JR., BUT THAT MAY CHANGE.
>> OKAY, THAT'S GREAT.
HOW ABOUT YOU AND I DITCH YOUR
BROTHER?
>> MM. MAYBE LATER.
SO, IS IT NICE BEING A BIRD?
>> NOPE.
>> OH.
DO YOU LIKE WAFFLES?
>> NO, WAFFLES MAKE ME SICK.
I EAT...M-MAGGOTS.
>> AAH!
>> WHAT?
>> HOW CAN YOU NOT EAT WAFFLES?!
[ SQUISH! ]
AAH!
>> WHAT?!
>> I STEPPED ON A PUMPKIN!
>> AHA!
CIVILIZATION, SEE?
NOW --
[ SQUISH! ]
HUH? WHAT THE...
[ GRUNTING ]
ALL RIGHT. LET'S REJOIN SOCIETY.
[ PASTORAL MUSIC PLAYS ]
HELLO? HELLO?
HMM. SEE ANYBODY?
>> NO.
OH, I SEE YOU.
>> YEAH, I SEE YOU, TOO, GREG.
>> HEY, NOT TO BE OBNOXIOUS, BUT
AN ABANDONED GHOST TOWN DOESN'T
SEEM LIKE IT'S GONNA BE THAT
USEFUL GETTING YOU GUYS HOME.
>> [ CLEARS THROAT ]
THERE'S GOT TO BE SOMEBODY
SOMEWHERE.
EXCUSE ME? ANYONE HERE?
HELLO?
OH. SORRY.
UH, I'M LOOKING FOR A PHONE.
UM, I'M SORRY.
[ CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY ]
>> DID YOU FIND ANYTHING?
>> NO. WHERE'S GREG?
[ INDISTINCT SINGING ]
>> DO YOU HEAR THAT?
>> HUH?
>> Together: ¶...LET SPIRITS
YOU'RE IN THE MAYPOLE DANCE
A RIVER TOO WILD, MY SOUL
[ CAT YOWLS ]
AND TO BIND THE...
[ POP! ]
>> WHAT THE...
>> OH, PARDON ME THERE.
SAY, YOU FOLKS OUGHT TO DON YOUR
VEGETABLES AND CELEBRATE THE
HARVEST WITH US.
>> UH...OH!
[ Chuckling ] YOU'RE WEARING
COSTUMES.
>> WELL, SURE.
PUMPKINS CAN'T MOVE ON THEIR
OWN...CAN THEY?
>> HA. NO. YEAH, NO.
>> GOOD THING I DIDN'T TAKE THIS
OFF.
>> YOU GUYS FIND THIS PLACE AS
CREEPY AS I DO, RIGHT?
>> SO IT'S SOME KIND OF WEIRD
CULT WHERE THEY WEAR VEGETABLE
COSTUMES AND DANCE AROUND A BIG
THING.
THEY SEEM NICE ENOUGH.
>> OKAY, YOU'RE IN DENIAL.
THAT'S FINE.
BUT I'M JUST SAYING, SOMETHING
FEELS OFF ABOUT THIS PLACE.
[ CRRREAK! ]
>> WELL, MAYBE I CAN FIND
SOMEONE HERE WHO WILL GIVE US A
RIDE HOME.
GREG, YOU STAY OUT OF TROUBLE.
BEATRICE, THANK YOU, BUT YOU CAN
LEAVE.
>> [ SIGHS ]
I CAN'T LEAVE.
I'M HONOR-BOUND TO HELP YOU
SINCE YOU GUYS HELPED ME.
THAT'S THE BLUEBIRD RULES.
>> UH, OKAY.
>> BEATRICE, WOULD YOU CARE FOR
THIS DANCE?
>> NO THANKS.
NO THANKS, NO THANKS.
I SAID NO THANK YOU.
[ WHIR! ]
>> SAY, AREN'T YOU A LITTLE
TOO...EARLY?
>> WHAT DO YOU MEAN.
>> I MEAN IT DOESN'T SEEM LIKE
YOU'RE READY TO JOIN US JUST
YET.
>> JOIN YOU?
YEAH, NO, I'M JUST PASSING
THROUGH.
>> FOLKS DON'T TEND TO "PASS
THROUGH" POTTSFIELD.
>> OH...YEAH?
>> YEAH. IT'S NICE HERE.
>> UM, I'M REALLY JUST LOOKING
T-TO LEAVE HERE AS FAST AS
POSSIBLE.
>> EH, WHAT, WHAT?
LEAVE POTTSFIELD?
WHO WANTS TO LEAVE POTTSFIELD?!
>> HUH?
>> WHAT?
>> HE WANTS TO LEAVE POTTSFIELD.
>> WHAT?
>> OH, ARE WE LEAVING ALREADY?
>> LET'S LEAVE IMMEDIATELY.
[ RASPY BREATHING, CROWD
MUTTERING ]
>> I'M JUST TRYING TO GET HOME.
>> THEY'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE
HERE.
>> MAYBE HE'S HERE TO STEAL OUR
CROPS.
>> TO RUIN OUR PARTY.
>> OR TAKE OFF OUR PUMPKIN
SHOES!
>> [ Chuckling ] UH, NO, I,
UH --
>> [ CHUCKLES ]
NOW, HOLD ON, EVERYBODY.
[ CHUCKLES ]
LET'S NOT JUMP TO ANY
CONCLUSIONS.
>> WHOA.
>> ENOCH, WHAT SHALL WE DO WITH
THEM?
>> I-I'M DONE.
>> [ INHALES SHARPLY ]
NOW, LET'S SEE HERE, BOYS.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THIS
LITTLE TOWN OF OURS?
>> WELL, WE WERE TRYING TO GET
HOME.
WE CAME INTO TOWN FROM THE
WOODS.
UH, WE SAW YOUR FARMS AND YOUR
HOUSES AND THOUGHT, "HEY, HERE'S
A NORMAL PLACE WITH NORMAL
PEOPLE."
>> AND WE BOTH STEPPED ON
PUMPKINS.
>> YEAH, A-AND THEN WE HEARD THE
MUSIC FROM THE BARN, AND, WELL,
UH -- H-HOW ABOUT WE JUST LEAVE?
>> [ CHUCKLES ]
NOW, LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT --
YOU COME TO OUR TOWN, YOU
TRAMPLE OUR CROPS, YOU INTERRUPT
OUR PRIVATE ENGAGEMENT, AND NOW
YOU WANT TO LEAVE?
>> UH...YES.
>> YOU'LL NEVER CONVICT!
YOU HAVE NO PROOF!
>> THIS ONE'S TRYING TO ESCAPE!
>> LET ME GO!
I DON'T KNOW THESE CLOWNS!
>> CHILDREN, IT SADDENS ME THAT
YOU DON'T WISH TO STAY HERE WITH
US, PARTICULARLY BECAUSE I
SIMPLY HAVE TO PUNISH YOU FOR
YOUR TRANSGRESSIONS.
>> I TOLD YOU THIS PLACE WAS BAD
NEWS.
>> [ Singsong voice ] SO, BY
ORDER OF THE
POTTSFIELD CHAMBER OF COMMERCE,
[Deep voice] I FIND YOU GUILTY
OF TRESPASSING, DESTRUCTION OF
PROPERTY, DISTURBING THE PEACE,
AND MURDER.
>> MURDER?
>> [ Normal voice ] OH, NO, NOT
MURDER.
BUT FOR THOSE OTHER CRIMES, I
SENTENCE YOU TO...
A FEW HOURS OF MANUAL LABOR.
>> WAIT. WHAT? REALLY?
THAT'S IT?
>> AMONG THE FIELDS OF STRAW
AND STOVER
CLOCKIN' TILL THE WORKDAY'S
OVER
TIME'S A GENTLE STREAM,
LONGER THAN IT SEEMS
PATIENT IS THE NIGHT
HOW I LONG TO SEE HER FACE
NOW
HER STARRY, MOONLIT GAZE NOW
I KNOW SHE'S NEVER LATE,
SO ANXIOUSLY I WAIT
PATIENT IS THE NIGHT
[ METAL CLINKING ]
>> [ GRUNTS ]
HA-HA!
JUST A FEW HOURS OF MANUAL
LABOR, AND WE'RE ALMOST DONE.
>> AND THEN WHAT ARE YOU GONNA
DO -- JUST WANDER AROUND THIS
WAY AND THAT WAY THROUGH THE
WOODS FOREVERMORE?
>> UH, UH, MAYBE WE'LL JUST STAY
HERE IN POTTSFIELD.
IT'S NICE HERE.
[ CHUCKLES, SIGHS ]
I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T KNOW.
>> WHY DO THEY EVEN HAVE YOU
DIGGING THESE HOLES?
>> PLANTING SEEDS OR SOMETHING.
>> [ GASPS ]
MAYBE THEY'RE GONNA BURY YOU
OUT HERE.
>> PBHT!
>> HEY! BURIED TREASURE!
>> WHOA! REALLY?
SEE, BEATRICE?
WHAT'D YOU FIND?
>> A SKELETON!
>> AAH!
[ EERIE CARNIVAL ORGAN PLAYS ]
WE'RE DIGGING OUR OWN --
[ GASPS ]
I-I-I WAS WRONG.
I WAS WRONG ALL ALONG.
I-I DON'T KNOW HOW TO GET US
HOME.
USE YOUR LITTLE FEET TO PICK OUR
LOCKS!
>> OHO! NOW YOU WANT MY HELP?
>> I DON'T WANT YOUR HELP.
[ SLOW MARCH PLAYS ]
YES, I WANT YOUR HELP!
BEATRICE, SERIO--
>> YOUR TIME IS UP!
>> AAH!
OHH.
[ WHIR! ]
>> HAVE THE HOLES BEEN DUG?
>> UH...YEAH.
>> SPLENDID!
WELL, THEN --
>> BUT, NO.
>> NO?
>> UH...
>> Psst!
[ METAL CLINKING ]
[ Muffled ] Keep stalling.
>> RIGHT.
YEAH, UH, YOU KNOW, WE WERE
DIGGING, AND THERE WERE TOO MANY
ROCKS.
YOU GUYS DON'T LIKE ROCKS,
RIGHT?
>> I DON'T THINK WE DO.
>> NO, WE DON'T LIKE ROCKS.
>> I DON'T THINK SO.
>> SEE?
SO WE WERE LIKE, "WE SHOULD GET
RID OF THESE ROCKS."
>> WELL, THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.
>> RIGHT?
[ Chuckling ] YEAH.
SO, WE WERE GETTING RID OF THE
ROCKS AND -- HUH?
HUH? WHAT?
THEY LEFT ME.
>> SO, WHAT HAPPENED TO THE
ROCKS?
>> UH, THE ROCKS.
YEAH, THEY -- THEY WERE, UM, YOU
KNOW -- THEY -- THEY -- THEY GOT
IN THE WAY OF ALL THE -- WELL,
THE DIRT, YOU KNOW, AND...
W-WHOA! OHH!
>> WELCOME BACK, LARRY.
>> HE LOOKS EXACTLY THE SAME.
>> What in the...
>> WHOOOOOP! OOH!
[ GRUNTING ]
>> YEAH, LARRY! WHOO!
[ BONES RATTLING ]
>> AAH!
>> EDWARD, THIS ONE'S FOR YOU!
>> THEY'RE ALL SKELETONS.
>> THANKS FOR DIGGING UP THE
LIFE OF THE PARTY.
>> WHAT A WONDERFUL HARVEST.
AND WHAT ABOUT YOU?
YOU SURE YOU WANT TO LEAVE?
>> ME? YES?
>> OH, WELL.
YOU'LL JOIN US SOMEDAY.
>> UH...
>> Psst!
WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?
>> WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
YOU GUYS LEFT ME!
OH.
>> COME ON.
>> [ HUMMING ]
>> [ PANTING ]
OH. ARE THEY CHASING US?
>> Both: NO.
>> [ SIGHS ]
I-I THOUGHT YOU GUYS --
>> YOU'RE WELCOME.
>> THANK YOU.
I GUESS WE'RE EVEN NOW, HUH?
YOU'RE NOT HONOR-BOUND TO HELP
US ANYMORE.
>> [ SIGHS ]
I WISH.
BUT YOU WEREN'T ACTUALLY IN ANY
DANGER WITH THOSE WEIRDOS.
>> OH, YEAH!
THEN YOU STILL HAVE TO HELP US
GET HOME.
>> I GOT IT!
I WISH WIRT JR. HAD FINGERNAILS
SO HE COULD PLAY THE GUITAR
BETTER.
[ CRICKETS CHIRPING ]
>> SO...YEAH, I'LL BRING YOU TO
ADELAIDE.
I MEAN, THAT'S WHERE I'M GOING
ANYWAY.
>> WHY ARE YOU GOING TO
ADELAIDE'S?
>> I GUESS, IN SOME WAYS, I'M
TRYING TO GET HOME, TOO.
>> THAT'S VAGUE.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
>> I DON'T HAVE TO TELL YOU
ANYTHING.
>> WELL, I SURE HOPE ADELAIDE IS
MORE HELPFUL THAN THAT WOODSMAN
WAS.
I THINK HIS DIRECTIONS
WERE...NOT VERY GOOD.
[ WIND BLOWING ]

Chapter 3 Schooltown Follies

[ MYSTERIOUS CLASSICAL PIANO
PLAYS ]
[ BIRDS CHIRPING ]
>> DON'T KNOW WHO SHE IS OR
HOW SHE IS OR WHEN, WHAT, WHY
SHE IS
BUT AS FOR WHERE SHE IS, SHE
IS WHERE WE WILL GO
TO ADELAIDE, TO ADELAIDE
COME ON AND JOIN THE ADELAIDE
PARADE
>> Both: NO.
>> ADELAIDE, TO ADELAIDE
LET'S GO TO ADELAIDE'S HOUSE
[ SOUR NOTE PLAYS ]
I NEED TO FIX THAT LAST PART,
BUT THAT'S THE IDEA.
SO, BEATRICE, YOU SING THE HIGH
PART.
WIRT, YOU SING THE REALLY HIGH
PART.
>> WHAT?
OH.
>> AND --
>> NOBODY IS SINGING ANYTHING
ANYMORE.
AND, WIRT, KEEP MOVING.
>> BUT I-I HAVE TO -- UGH.
ALL RIGHT.
>> BUT WE HAVE TO DO SOMETHING
FUN.
>> YOU KNOW, WE REALLY DON'T.
WE CAN JUST KEEP WALKING
SILENTLY, YOU KNOW?
AND -- UGH.
WIRT, LET'S GO. COME ON.
>> SORRY, SORRY.
>> BUT SHOULDN'T WE --
>> GREG, DON'T YOU WANT TO BE
MORE LIKE YOUR BROTHER -- JUST
ALWAYS DOING WHAT YOU'RE TOLD...
>> HUH?
>> ...JUST A PATHETIC PUSHOVER
WHO RELIES ON OTHERS TO MAKE ALL
HIS DECISIONS?
>> HEY! WHAT?
I'M NOT A PUSHOVER.
>> HOLD ON, WIRT.
LET ME GET TO MY POINT.
>> [ SCOFFS ] FINE.
>> SEE, GREG?
NO WILLPOWER WHATSOEVER.
>> HRMPH!
>> YOU NEED TO BE MORE LIKE
THAT.
>> BUT THAT DOESN'T REALLY SOUND
THAT FUN.
>> THE WORLD IS A MISERABLE
PLACE, GREG.
LIFE ISN'T FUN.
>> [ BREATHES DEEPLY ]
THEN I'LL DO WHAT I NEED TO DO,
I GUESS.
>> THANK YOU.
WE'LL JUST FOCUS ON GETTING YOU
GUYS TO ADELAIDE'S SO I CAN WASH
MY HANDS OF THIS WHOLE AFFAIR,
AND IF YOU COULD PICK UP THE
PACE A BIT, THAT'D BE GREAT,
OKAY?
OKAY?
HEY, WHERE'S GREG.
>> OH.
UH, WONDERED OFF, I GUESS.
>> CHEESE AND CRACKERS!
>> WE NEED TO DO OUR PART TO
MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE!
>> [ CROAKS ]
>> [ LAUGHS ] YEAH.
[ BELL TOLLING ]
HUH?
WHOA!
[ MID-TEMPO RAGTIME MUSIC
PLAYS ]
SCHOOL?!
[ SCOFFS ]
NOT TODAY.
[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]
>> GREG!
[ MUSIC CONTINUES ]
GREG!
GREG?
>> EXCUSE ME?
[ MUSIC STOPS, WIND BLOWS ]
PLEASE, TAKE YOUR SEAT,
CHILDREN.
YOU'RE LATE.
YOU KNOW THE RULES -- "ONCE THE
BELL HAS RUN, CLASS HAS BEGUN."
>> OH, SORRY, EVERYBODY.
SORRY.
NO, HE DOESN'T HAVE A BRAIN.
HE CAN'T LEARN ANYTHING.
LET'S GO, WIRT. COME ON.
[ WHISTLES ] HERE, BOY.
>> WHAT? DID YOU SAY SOMETHING?
I CAN'T HEAR YOU BECAUSE I'M TOO
BUSY DOING WHAT I'M TOLD.
>> WHAT?
WHAT ARE YOU --
[ SIGHS ]
NO, NO. LET'S GO.
>> OH, NO.
SEE, I'M A PUSHOVER, REMEMBER?
I HAVE TO DO WHAT SHE TELLS ME
TO DO.
>> OHH.
WIRT, YOUR BROTHER COULD BE IN
TROUBLE SOMEWHERE.
[ KNOCK ON WINDOW ]
>> [ HUMS "HELLO" ]
[ HUMMING ]
MNH-MNH.
>> [ CROAKS ]
>> [ GASPS ]
HA-HA! YEAH!
>> [ SIGHS ]
BLUEBIRD'S HAVE A SHORT LIFE
SPAN.
YOU TWO ARE LITERALLY KILLING ME
EVERY MOMENT I'M FORCED TO SPEND
WITH YOU.
>> OH.
>> YOUNG MAN, I WILL NOT STAND
FOR SUCH NONSENSE IN MY
CLASSROOM.
I GOT ENOUGH NONSENSE FROM THAT
NO GOOD, TWO-TIMING, LOW-DOWN
HANDSOME MAN OF MINE.
[ DRAMATIC PIANO PLAYS ]
OH, JIMMY BROWN, WHY DID YOU
HAVE TO LEAVE ME SO?
AND NOW, WITH MY FATHER
THREATENING TO CLOSE THE SCHOOL
AND THAT WILD GORILLA ON THE
LOOSE, WHY, JIMMY, I JUST HAVE
ONE THING TO SAY...
[ UPBEAT COUNTRY WESTERN MUSIC
PLAYS ]
"A" IS FOR THE APPLE THAT HE
GAVE TO ME
BUT I FOUND A WORM INSIDE
"B" IS FOR BELOVED THAT I...
>> OUF.
THAT LADY'S GOT SOME BAGGAGE.
[ MUSIC STOPS ]
>> WHAT'S THAT?
YOUNG MAN, GO TO THE DUNCE BOX.
>> OH. SURE, OKAY.
>> NO, NO.
>> SURE.
>> NO, NO.
>> [ HUMMING HAPPILY ]
>> AW.
>> NOW, WHERE WERE WE?
[ MUSIC RESUMES ]
OH, YES.
"G" IS FOR THE GENTLEMAN I
THOUGHT HE WAS
WHEN HE FIRST SAID HI
>> SO, MY THEORY IS HOT DOGS ARE
NOT ACTUALLY DOGS, REGARDLESS OF
WHAT THEY TEACH YOU IN SCHOOL.
BUT YOU GUYS DON'T GO TO SCHOOL,
HUH?
I'm gonna stick with you guys.
[ WATER SLOSHES ]
HA-HA!
HEY, I GOT AN IDEA.
LET'S PLAY "TWO OLD CAT."
DO YOU GUYS KNOW HOW TO PLAY
"TWO OLD CAT"?
IT'S FUN. I'LL SHOW YOU.
HERE WE GO.
HERE'S ONE OLD CAT.
>> [ MEOWS ]
>> [ MEOWS WEAKLY ]
>> YOU FOUND ANOTHER ONE!
WAIT. NO.
I THINK THAT CAT IS TOO OLD.
>> ROWR.
>> SORRY, KITTY.
WE'LL HAVE TO FIND ANOTHER OLD
CAT.
>> HEY, JEFFREY, I THINK THERE'S
ONE BEHIND YOU!
[ RASPY BREATHING ]
>> [ ROARS ]
>> GORILLA!
RUN!
>> [ GROWLS QUIZZICALLY ]
>> AND "Y," YES, WHY IS THE
QUESTION THAT'S ON MY MIND
OH, WHY?
>> HEY, DUNCE. THIS IS DREADFUL!
>> GOOD.
I'M GLAD YOU FEEL THAT WAY.
>> [ GROANS ]
[ BELL TOLLING ]
>> I REMEMBER LIKE --
HUH?
>> [ GASPS ] GORILLA!
>> [ BABBLING ]
>> MEALTIME ALREADY?
WELL, COME ALONG CHILDREN.
[ HOT JAZZ PLAYS ]
>> [ GRUNTS ]
[ ALL PANTING ]
[ ROARS ]
>> [ GRUNTING ]
[ SPITS ]
>> HUH?
AAH!
>> MM-HMM.
[ SLOW JAZZY PIANO PLAYS ]
>> WE DON'T WANT TO BE LATE FOR
MEALTIME.
MY FATHER WILL BE VISITING
TODAY, AND WE'LL NEED TO BE ON
OUR BEST BEHAVIOR.
[ HOT JAZZ PLAYS ]
>> QUICK! IN HERE!
[ PANTING ]
[ MUSIC FADES OUT, DRAMATIC
PIANO PLAYS ]
>> OH, BOY! MEALTIME!
THIS IS WAY BETTER THAN BEING
CHASED BY A GORILLA.
>> [ SNIFFS ]
[ MUNCH! MUNCH! MUNCH! ]
[ GROANS ]
>> AW, WHAT'S THE MATTER?
MM. KIND OF BLAND.
>> [ SNORTS ]
[ SIGHS ]
>> HEY, NOBODY ORDERED YOU TO
EAT YET.
>> YEAH, BUT...
MM.
>> HMM.
[ HUMS QUIZZICALLY ]
>> OHH.
>> HEY! I KNOW WHAT TO DO!
HERE, MISS LANGTREE.
PLAY SOMETHING LIKE THIS.
[ WILD DISCORDANT MUSIC PLAYS ]
>> OH, LIKE THIS?
[ PLEASANT MID-TEMPO SWING
MUSIC PLAYS ]
>> MM...GOOD ENOUGH.
[ GRUNTS ]
OH, POTATOES AND MOLASSES
IF YOU WANT SOME, OH, JUST ASK
US
THEY'RE WARM AND SOFT LIKE
PUPPIES AND SOCKS
FILLED WITH CREAM AND CANDY
ROCKS
OH, POTATOES AND MOLASSES
THEY'RE SO MUCH SWEETER THAN
ALGEBRA CLASS
IF YOUR STOMACH IS GRUMBLIN'
AND YOUR MOUTH STARTS MUMBLIN'
THERE'S ONLY ONE THING TO KEEP
YOUR BRAIN FROM CRUMBLIN'
OH, POTATOES AND MOLASSES
IF YOU CAN'T SEE 'EM PUT ON
YOUR GLASSES
THEY'RE SHINY AND LARGE LIKE A
FISHERMAN'S BARGE
YOU KNOW YOU EAT ENOUGH WHEN
YOU START SEEING STARS
OH, POTATOES AND MOLASSES
IT'S THE ONLY THING LEFT ON
YOUR TASK LIST
THEY'RE SHORT AND STOUT,
THEY'LL MAKE EVERYONE SHOUT
FOR POTATOES
AND MOLASSES
FOR POTATOES AND --
[ BLAM! ]
>> THAT'S ENOUGH!
>> FATHER.
>> IS THIS WHAT I'VE BEEN PAYING
FOR?!
>> HEY, WE JUST WANTED TO HAVE A
LITTLE FUN.
>> I DIDN'T INVEST IN THIS
SCHOOL FOR FUN.
I THOUGHT WE WERE TRYING TO DO
IMPORTANT WORK HERE, TEACHING
ANIMALS TO COUNT AND SPELL.
>> WE ARE!
OH, PLEASE, FATHER, DON'T CLOSE
THE SCHOOL.
IT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN.
>> I SHOULD SAY IT WON'T.
>> THIS...
>> PBHT!
>> ...THIS...
>> [ MEOWS ]
>> ...AND THIS ARE ALL COMING
WITH ME.
NOW SEND THEM TO BED!
>> YOU HEARD FATHER.
OFF TO BED WITH YOU.
[ SLOW WISTFUL JAZZ PLAYS ]
>> [ SIGHS ]
>> [ WHIMPERING ]
>> [ SNIFFLES ]
>> I JUST WANTED TO HAVE FUN,
CHANGE THE WORLD, AND MAKE IT A
BETTER PLACE.
BUT I JUST MADE EVERYTHING
WORSE.
>> [ CROAKS ]
>> OKAY, WIRT, I'LL ADMIT IT --
YOU SEEM LIKE A PUSHOVER, BUT
YOU'RE NOT.
>> OH?
>> DEEP DOWN IN YOUR HEART,
YOU'RE A STUBBORN JERK.
WHEN ARE YOU GONNA GIVE THIS UP?
>> MAYBE NEVER.
MAYBE I'LL NEVER GIVE THIS UP.
>> HMM.
YEAH!
WIRT'S RIGHT -- NEVER GIVE UP!
COME ON, WIRT.
LET'S GO SAVE THE DAY.
>> OKAY, IF YOU SAY SO.
>> [ SCOFFS ]
>> COME ON.
[ OWL HOOTING ]
>> SO, WHAT'S THE PLAN, GREG?
>> PLAN?
OHH. I DON'T KNOW.
>> OHH!
WHO WOULD'VE THOUGHT MAKING A
PRIMER SCHOOL FOR ANIMALS WAS A
BAD IDEA?
MY LIFE SAVINGS, MY HOME --
EVERYTHING I HAD WENT INTO THAT
DEAR, DEAR SCHOOL.
AND NOW I'M FORCED TO SELL THESE
INSTRUMENTS JUST TO KEEP IT
OPEN.
ALL THE WHILE THAT LOATHSOME
JIMMY BROWN IS OFF GALLIVANTING
WHO KNOWS WHERE!
NOT TO MENTION THAT WILD GORILLA
ON THE LOOSE.
[ SIGHS ]
IF ONLY SOMETHING WOULD GO RIGHT
FOR A CHANGE.
[ SNORING ]
>> OKAY, I THINK HE'S ASLEEP.
LET'S GO STEAL HIS STUFF.
>> Both: WHAT?
[ PASTORAL MUSIC PLAYS, BIRDS
CHIRPING ]
>> [ SNORING ]
[ GROANS ]
[ GASPS ]
THE INSTRUMENTS!
THEY'VE BEEN STOLEN!
WHO WOULD DO SUCH A THING?!
[ MID-TEMPO MARCH PLAYS ]
HUH?
>> [ HUMMING ]
[ INDISTINCT CHATTER ]
>> HERE YOU GO.
>> OH, HERE YOU GO, SONNY.
[ MUSIC CONTINUES ]
>> WHAT IS THIS?
>> IT'S A BENEFIT CONCERT FOR
THE SCHOOL.
>> AH, ISN'T IT GRAND -- ALL
THESE FINE PEOPLE GIVING OUT
OF THE GOODNESS OF THEIR HEARTS?
[ SIGHS ]
NOT LIKE MY JIMMY BROWN.
[ DRAMATIC PIANO PLAYS ]
>> OHH, HERE WE GO.
>> ALL HE EVER DID WAS STEAL MY
HEART AWAY.
>> GORILLA!
>> AAH!
>> [ ROARS ]
[ CROWD SCREAMING ]
>> YOUNG MAN, DO SOMETHING!
>> UH...
[ SHOUTS WEAKLY ]
WHOA!
>> [ GROANS ]
[ ALL GASP ]
>> [ GRUNTS LOUDLY ]
FINALLY.
>> JIMMY?
>> THAT'S RIGHT, DARLIN'.
I WAS THE GORILLA.
>> BUT WHY DID YOU DO IT?
>> GOT A JOB IN THE CIRCUS SO'S
I COULD FINALLY BUY YA THAT
WEDDING RING.
BUT WHEN I GOT STUCK IN THE
DANG SUIT, EVERYBODY WAS TOO
DOGGONE SCARED TO HELP ME OUT.
>> AW, JIMMY.
OH!
>> DARLIN'.
[ ALL CHEER ]
>> [ CHITTERING, GRUNTING ]
>> [ SNIFFLES ]
>> I GUESS THE WORLD REALLY IS
AS SWEET AS POTATOES AND
MOLASSES.
>> OH, POTATOES AND MOLASSES
IF YOU WANT SOME...
>> SO, WANT ME TO TELL GREG IT'S
TIME TO GET GOING?
>> NAH, LET HIM HAVE HIS FUN.
>> FILLED WITH CREAM AND CANDY
AND ROCKS
>> HEY, WIRT.
>> YEAH?
>> TIE YOUR SHOE.
>> HMM.
OH. MM. OKAY.
>> ...ALGEBRA CLASS
IF YOUR STOMACH IS GRUMBLIN'
AND YOUR MOUTH...
[ MYSTERIOUS CLASSICAL PIANO
PLAYS ]

Chapter 4: Songs of the Dark Lantern

[ WIND RUSHING, PASTORAL MUSIC
PLAYING ]
[ TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS ]
[ PASTORAL MUSIC PLAYING ]
[ WIND WHISTLING ]
>> STOP!
NO!
[ SHOUTS ]
OH, NO!
THE BEAST IS UPON ME!
[ DUCK QUACKS ]
>> SHH!
>> GREG, IS THERE A BEAST OUT
THERE?
>> MMM...
I FOUND A DUCK.
DO YOU KNOW HOW TO MAKE EGGS
FROM A DUCK?
I'M HUNGRY.
>> WHAT ABOUT THE BEAST?
>> THE BEAST IS UPON ME!
>> I DIDN'T SEE ANY BEAST.
THAT DRIVER IS NUTS.
MMM, NUTS.
>> WHEW! WELL, THAT'S GOOD.
>> GOOD?!
THAT CRAZY DRIVER'S TAKING US
WAY OFF COURSE!
>> REALLY?
>> YEAH, WHO KNOWS WHERE WE ARE
BY NOW WITH THAT GUY ACTING ALL
BANANAS.
>> OOH, BANANA NUT DUCK BREAD.
[ LIGHTNING STRIKES ]
>> [ WHINNIES ]
[ ALL SHOUT, DUCKS SQUAWKING ]
>> WHOA-AH!
>> WELL, FINALLY SOME GOOD LUCK.
LET'S GO TO THIS CREEPY TAVERN
AND ASK FOR SOME DIRECTIONS.
>> BUT...
[ LIGHTNING STRIKES ]
[ SIGN CREAKING ]
>> [ NEIGHING, CRYING ]
>> BUT IT'S CREEPY.
WHY DON'T YOU GUYS GO ASK FOR
DIRECTIONS, AND I'LL JUST WAIT
OUT -- NO, WAIT, I-I DON'T WANT
TO BE OUT HERE BY MYSELF.
HOW ABOUT YOU GUYS --
>> JUST GO TO THE TAVERN!
>> OKAY!
BUT YOU ASK FOR DIRECTIONS.
>> FINE, YEAH, I'LL DO
EVERYTHING.
>> I'M HUNGRY.
>> [ GRUNTS ]
>> Go on!
>> I-IT'S STUCK.
OH.
[ DOG SPUTTERING ]
E-EXCUSE ME, THERE.
EXCUSE ME.
HMM?
>> [ WHISTLING ]
[ DOWN-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING ]
[ INDISTINCT TALKING ]
[ WHISTLING CONTINUES ]
[ DOWN-TEMPO MUSIC CONTINUES ]
>> YOU. WAIT. HERE.
I'LL GET SOME FOOD.
>> WELL, AT LEAST IT HAS MUSIC.
>> WELL, HEY, THERE, PEACH POT.
WHATCHA DOING AROUND -- HEY,
WHAT'S THAT BIRD YOU GOT THERE?
>> IT'S A --
>> I AM BEATRICE!
THESE TWO SWEET KIDS AND I GOT A
BIT LOST IN THE -- AAH!
[ GASPS ]
>> NO BIRDS ALLOWED IN MY
TAVERN!
>> NO BIRDS ALLOWED IN YOUR --
>> IT'S A BAD OMEN WHEN A
BLUEBIRD ENTERS THROUGH YOUR
DOOR.
IT'S BAD LUCK!
>> LADY, BLUEBIRDS ARE GOOD
LUCK!
WE BRING JOY AND HAPPINESS TO
THE -- AAH!
>> GOOD LUCK, BAD LUCK -- I
DON'T NEED ANY OF IT!
>> CURSE YOU, LADY! CURSE YOU!
YOU'LL DIE SOMEDAY, AND I'LL
LAUGH -- LAUGH!
[ LAUGHS ]
>> OHH!
>> FORGET THIS. I'M OUT OF HERE.
WIRT, YOU GET DIRECTIONS.
>> W-WAIT, NO.
I-I DON'T WANT TO --
>> JUST DO IT!
>> WHO ARE YOU TWO ANYWAY,
BRINGING BAD LUCK TO MY TAVERN?
>> I'M WIRT, AND THIS IS
GREGORY.
>> [ SNORTS ]
>> AND THAT'S A HORSE!
>> THAT'S GREAT, BUT WHO ARE
YOU?
>> I'M...WIRT.
I'M -- I'M JUST A-A GUY, I-I
GUESS.
UM, W-WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
>> WELL, HE'S THE BUTCHER...
>> I'M THE BUTCHER.
>> ...THE BAKER...
>> YEAH!
>> ...THE MIDWIFE...
>> [ COUGHS ]
>> ...THE MASTER AND
APPRENTICE...
THE TAILOR.
>> [ MOANING ]
>> AND I'M THE TAVERN KEEPER.
WHO ARE YOU?!
>> I'M HUNGRY!
>> I-I-I DON'T KNOW.
I DON'T REALLY LIKE LABELS.
I'M JUST SORT OF, LIKE, MYSELF,
YOU KNOW?
>> MAYBE HE'S SIMPLE.
>> NO, I-I'M JUST [SIGHS] I'M
JUST LOST.
SEE, W-WE'RE TRYING TO GET TO --
>> I'M THE HIGHWAYMAN.
>> OKAY, GOOD TO KNOW.
WELL, SO, YOU SEE --
>> I'M THE HIGHWAYMAN
I MAKE ENDS MEET
JUST LIKE ANY MAN
I WORK WITH MY HANDS
IF YOU CROSS MY PATH
[ MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING ]
I'LL KNOCK YOU OUT
DRAG YOU OFF THE ROAD
STEAL YOUR SHOES FROM OFF YOUR
FEET
I'M THE HIGHWAYMAN
AND I MAKE ENDS MEE-E-E-E-T
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> [ SIGHS ]
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE CONTINUE
IN DISTANCE ]
>> [ SIGHS ] HEY.
>> [ CRUNCHING ]
>> ARE YOU WEARING LIPSTICK?
>> [ SMACKS LIPS, SNORTING ]
>> LA LA LA LA
>> HMM? WHO'S OUT THERE?
>> CHOP THE WOOD TO LIGHT THE
FIRE
>> WHAT KIND OF PERSON GOES OUT
CHOPPING TREES IN THE MIDDLE OF
A THUNDERSTORM AT NIGHT?
>> LIGHT THAT FIERY FIRE
>> WHAT KIND OF A PERSON TALKS
TO A HORSE?
>> [ NEIGHS, LAUGHS ]
>> OOH-AH.
[ BOTH GRUNTING ]
>> [ LAUGHING ]
>> HMM.
[ SIGHS ]
>> [ LAUGHING ]
>> EXCUSE ME?
>> HUH?
>> I WAS WONDERING IF YOU KNEW
THE WAY -- UH, I MEAN, I-I'M --
HER NAME IS ADELAIDE, AND --
>> OH, IT'S A GIRL YOU'RE AFTER,
EH?
>> NO! I-I MEAN, YES, BUT --
>> [ LAUGHS ]
OH, YOU'RE NOT THE WITLESS
SIMPLE-MINDED FOOL EVERYBODY
TAKES YOU FOR.
>> EVERYONE THINKS I'M --
>> YOU'RE THE YOUNG LOVER.
>> WHAT? YOUNG LOVER? NO, UH --
>> IF YOU REALLY WANT TO GET
WITH THIS ADELAIDE GAL...
>> I-I DON'T. I-I MEAN, I-I --
>> WELL, HERE'S WHAT YOU DO.
[ MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING ]
WRITE A LOVING LETTER, BOY
THAT SWOOPS AND SWEEPS AND
CURLS
CALLIGRAPHER'S JUST THE THING
TO HELP YOU WIN YOUR GIRL
THEN YOU'LL NEED TO DRESS UP
SMART
THE TAILOR'S HERE BY CHANCE
HE'LL STITCH YOUR TROUSERS,
HOLE YOUR BELT, IN FINE COUTURE
OF FRANCE
YOUR SHOES, MY GOODNESS, HOW
THEY'RE WORN, BUT YOU'RE TOO
YOUNG TO KNOW
NOTHING COURTS A WOMAN'S SCORN
MORE THAN SCUFFS ON THE TOE
THE COBBLER CAN ATTEND TO
THAT
MEANWHILE, YOU MUST HAVE
CAKE
THE BAKER AND PATISSIER NEED
WORK FOR GOODNESS SAKE
HIGH, DEE, DIDDLY,
UM-DE-DUM-DE-DAY
WHAT A MERRY TIME WE'LL HAVE
UPON YOUR WEDDING DAY
>> WHAT?
>> HIGH, DEE, DIDDLY,
UM-DE-DUM-DE-DAY
THERE'S WORK FOR ALL WHEN
LITTLE BOYS GET MARRIED
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> NO, NO, NO, NO.
Y-YOU GUYS, I-I-I'M NOT GETTING
MARRIED.
I'M JUST TRYING TO FIND --
>> THAT POINTY CONE UPON YOUR
HEAD
>> OH, NO, PLEASE.
>> YOU CAN'T BE WEARING THAT
[ MID-TEMPO MUSIC CONTINUES IN
DISTANCE ]
[ THUNDER RUMBLING ]
>> MM. [ SIGHS ]
IF I HAVE TO BE OUTSIDE, THEN
THOSE JOKERS DO, TOO.
>> OH, HEY, BEATRICE!
DO YOU WANT SOME FOOD, TOO?
>> NO.
HOW'S WIRT DOING GETTING
DIRECTIONS?
>> MM, PRETTY GOOD.
>> HIGH, DEE, DIDDLY,
UM-DE-DUM-DE-DAY
WHAT A MERRY TIME WE'LL HAVE
UPON YOUR WEDDING DAY
>> [ SIGHS ]
>> HIGH, DEE, DIDDLY
>> WHAT ABOUT THAT WOODSMAN?
I BET HE KNOWS THESE WOODS
BETTER THAN ANYBODY, HUH?
[ SIGHS ]
ALL RIGHT, HORSE, GOOD RIDDANCE!
>> [ NEIGHS, LAUGHS ]
[ ALL CHEERING ]
>> LOVER!
LOVER!
>> NO, Y-YOU GUYS, ADELAIDE
ISN'T -- I-I'M JUST --
>> YOUNG LOVER, SING US YOUR
LOVE SONG!
>> LOVE SONG?
>> YEAH, LOVER!
SING US YOUR LOVE SONG!
>> NO, I-I-I DON'T HAVE A --
>> All: [ Chanting ] SING,
LOVER, SING!
>> NO.
>> All: SING, LOVER, SING!
>> MIDWIFE, NO. AAH! OHH!
>> All: SING, LOVER, SING!
SING, LOVER, SING!
SING, LOVER, SING!
>> SING, BOY, SING!
>> [ VOCALIZING NERVOUSLY ]
MY NAME IS WIRT, AND HIS NAME
IS GREG
WE'RE RELATED 'CAUSE MY MOM
REMARRIED AND THEN GAVE BIRTH TO
HIM WITH MY STEPDAD
[ MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING ]
[ SIGHS ]
WE'RE NOT FROM AROUND HERE
CAN YOU ALL GIVE ME
SOME DIRECTIONS TODAY?
SO WE CAN BE ON OUR
[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]
WA-A-A-Y
>> THIS AIN'T NO LOVE SONG.
>> [ SNIFFLING ]
IT'S A METAPHOR.
[ CRYING ]
>> KEEP IT TOGETHER, TAILOR.
>> HEY!
>> UH, YES?
>> I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE!
YOU'RE A PILGRIM!
>> WHAT?
WHAT, LIKE THE -- THE GUYS WHO
EAT TURKEY AND CRANBERRY SAUCE?
>> NO, YOU'RE A PILGRIM!
>> A PILGRIM?
>> YOU'RE A TRAVELER ON A SACRED
JOURNEY.
>> YOU'RE THE MASTER OF YOUR OWN
DESTINY.
>> THE HERO OF YOUR OWN STORY!
>> A PILGRIM.
>> TELL US YOUR FEATS, PILGRIM!
WHAT OTHER CHALLENGES HAVE YOU
OVERCOME?
>> REGALE US WITH YOUR TRAVELS,
PILGRIM!
>> ONE TIME, WIRT FELL ON A
GORILLA.
[ ALL CHEERING ]
AND HELPED ME FIND THIS FROG.
[ ALL CHEERING ]
>> MORE! TELL US MORE!
>> TELL US MORE!
LET THE CAT OUT OF THE BAG!
WE WANT TO HEAR IT!
>> AND, OH, UH, I MET THIS
HELPFUL WOODSMAN WHO TOLD US
WHICH DIRECTION TO GO TO AVOID
THE BEAST.
>> All: [ GASP ] THE BEAST!
>> THE BEAST.
>> OH, GOODNESS.
>> OH, YOU GUYS HAVE HEARD OF
THE BEAST, TOO?
>> WE ALL KNOW THE BEAST,
PILGRIM.
HE LURKS OUT THERE IN THE
UNKNOWN
SEEKING THOSE WHO ARE FAR FROM
HOME
HOPING NEVER TO LET YOU
RETURN
>> [ VOCALIZING ]
OOH-OOH, BETTER BEWARE
OOH-OOH, THE BEAST IS OUT
THERE
OOH-OOH, BETTER BE WISE AND
DON'T BELIEVE HIS LIES
>> [ VOCALIZING ]
>> FOR ONCE YOUR WILL BEGINS
TO SPOIL
HE'LL TURN YOU TO A TREE OF
OIL
AND USE YOU IN HIS LANTERN FOR
TO BURN
>> [ VOCALIZING ]
>> [ BLOWS ]
>> WAIT, WAIT, WAIT! LANTERN?
THE WOODSMAN WAS THE GUY WITH
THE WEIRD LANTERN, NOT THE
BEAST.
>> PILGRIM, HE WHO CARRIES THE
DARK LANTERN MUST BE THE BEAST.
>> WHAT?
NO, THE WOODSMAN'S A GOOD GUY.
HE WARNED US OF THE BEAST AND
TOLD US WHICH DIRECTION TO GO TO
AVOID HIM.
>> AND NOW YOU'RE MORE LOST THAN
EVER, HUH?
>> YEAH, BUT...
OH, YEAH, HEY, CAN YOU GIVE US
SOME DIRECTIONS?
OUR FRIEND BEATRICE IS TRYING TO
TAKE US TO ADELAIDE OF THE
PASTURE, THE GOOD WOMAN OF THE
WOODS.
SHE CAN HELP US GET HOME.
>> YOU DON'T NEED DIRECTIONS,
PILGRIM.
YOU FOLLOW THAT COMPASS INSIDE
YOUR HEART.
>> UH...
NO, I THINK WE NEED DIRECTIONS.
>> AAH!
>> [ GASPS ] BEATRICE!
>> GO SAVE YOUR FRIEND AND GET
YOURSELF HOME!
[ ALL CHEERING, SHOUTING ]
>> PILGRIM!
>> YOU GOT IT!
>> UH...
OKAY.
>> NEVER SAY DIE, NEVER SAY DIE!
[ ALL CHEERING ]
>> OH, BOY, I GUESS I'M REALLY
DOING THIS.
HORSE, I'M JUST GONNA PRETEND
LIKE I CAN RIDE YOU, ALL RIGHT?
[ GRUNTS ]
>> [ NEIGHING ]
>> BEATRICE?!
[ CREATURE HOWLING IN DISTANCE ]
BEATRICE?
[ WIND WHISTLING ]
ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE TREES.
>> HALT!
>> [ GASPS ]
>> IT'S YOU!
>> HEY, MR. WOODSMAN!
>> I TOLD YOU TO LEAVE THESE
WOODS!
>> [ GASPS ] BEATRICE!
YOU'RE TURNING HER INTO AN
EDELWOOD TREE!
[ GASPS ]
YOU WERE THE BEAST ALL ALONG!
[ BLOWS ]
>> HUH?!
>> [ WHINNYING ]
>> WHOA! HUH?!
WHAT IS THIS?
>> GREG, GET BEATRICE!
[ GRUNTING ]
>> WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
BOYS, THE BEAST IS UPON YOU!
AGH!
OH!
[ GASPS ]
>> [ NEIGHING ]
>> [ SIGHS ]
>> BEATRICE, YOU ALL RIGHT?
>> YEAH, I JUST -- I SAW A WEIRD
SHADOW AND THEN STUPIDLY FLEW
INTO A TREE AND GOT KNOCKED OUT.
>> OH, WELL, WE'RE ALL RIGHT
NOW.
>> WIRT WAS AMAZING!
HE SANG A SONG, RODE A HORSE,
AND SAVED YOU FROM THE AXE GUY!
HE'S THE PILGRIM!
>> THAT'S ALL WELL AND GOOD, BUT
YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO GET
DIRECTIONS.
>> I DID.
WE JUST GOT DIRECTIONS FROM FRED
BEFORE YOU WOKE UP.
>> WHO?
>> OH, UH, BEATRICE, MEET FRED
THE HORSE.
>> NICE TO HORSE YOUR
ACQUAINTANCE.
>> YOU CAN TALK?!
>> [ NEIGHS, LAUGHS ]
>> IT SEEMS YOU'RE RUNNING OUT
OF OIL, WOODSMAN.
WHY NOT LET ME TAKE THE LANTERN
FOR AWHILE?
>> BEGONE, BEAST!
I'VE FOUGHT YOU FOR THE LANTERN
BEFORE, AND I'LL FIGHT YOU
AGAIN!
>> NO NEED FOR VIOLENCE,
WOODSMAN, BUT BE SURE TO KEEP IT
LIT, OR YOUR DAUGHTER'S FLAME
WILL GO OUT...
FOREVER.
NOW, WHAT DIRECTION DID THOSE
CHILDREN GO?
>> YOU LEAVE THOSE CHILDREN BE!
>> [ LAUGHING EVILLY ]
>> BEAST!
>> LA LA LA LA
>> BEAST!
>> LA LA LA LA
CHOP THE WOOD TO LIGHT THE
FIRE
[ MYSTERIOUS CLASSICAL PIANO
MUSIC PLAYING ]

Chapter 5: Mad Love

[ WIND RUSHING, PASTORAL MUSIC
PLAYS ]
[ BIRD CRIES ]
>> YES, TEA! THAT'S MY TRADE!
QUINCY ENDICOTT'S HEALTH TEA.
>> YOUR TEA SOUNDS GOOD.
>> UGH.
NEVER TOUCH THE STUFF MYSELF.
>> BLEH. ME EITHER.
>> HA HA! YES!
IT'S ALL FOR THE MONEY!
YES, THE MONEY TAKES MY MIND OFF
MY TROUBLES -- THE DEEP
SOUL-CRUSHING LONELINESS.
[ SHIVERS ]
YES, THE MORE MONEY I MAKE, THE
BIGGER MY MANSION GETS, THE MORE
LOST I FEEL.
[ SOBS ]
WHY, THIS HOUSE IS SO BIG, I
SOMETIMES DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE
OR WHO I AM!
[ LAUGHS ]
>> YEAH, WELL, I'M GLAD YOUR
NEPHEWS HERE WERE ABLE TO PAY A
VISIT.
>> YEAH, YEAH!
>> YES, WHAT A -- WHAT A
PLEASURE IT IS TO HAVE
COMPANY -- A PERFECT PLEASURE.
A PERFECT PLEASURE, LADS!
A PER-- YES, YES. YEAH, YEAH.
>> HA HA! YEAH! HA HA!
PERFECT PLEASURE, HEATHER...
>> UM, BEATRICE, W-WHY ARE YOU
PRETENDING I'M THIS GUY'S
NEPHEW?
>> WE NEED MONEY.
>> YOU'RE SCAMMING HIM?
>> I WAS THINKING MORE LIKE
FLAT-OUT STEALING FROM HIM.
>> WHAT? NO WAY.
>> WHY NOT?
WE ALREADY STOLE A HORSE.
>> HEY, GUYS.
>> NO, WE DIDN'T.
FRED'S A TALKING HORSE.
HE CAN DO WHATEVER HE WANTS.
>> I WANT TO STEAL.
>> [ GASPS ]
WHAT?! YOU GUYS ARE BONKERS.
>> IF WE'RE GOING TO ADELAIDE'S,
WE NEED TWO CENTS.
>> MM-HMM.
>> WELL, YOU GUYS DO WHAT YOU --
TWO CENTS?
ONLY TWO CENTS?
>> YEAH, WE NEED TWO PENNIES TO
TAKE THE FERRY TO ADELAIDE'S
PASTURE.
>> HA HA! COME EVERYONE!
LET US RETIRE TO THE PARLOR AND
ENJOY MY UNNECESSARY EXCESS OF
WEALTH AND LUXURY.
[ LAUGHS ]
>> WELL, MAYBE HE JUST HAS SOME
LOOSE CHANGE SOMEWHERE HE
WOULDN'T MIND US TAKING.
>> MM-HMM, MM-HMM, MM-HMM.
>> HMM.
[ CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS ]
>> BEHOLD, NEPHEW, THE MAJESTY
OF WEALTH!
>> Both: OOH!
>> [ GASPS ] WHAT WAS THAT?!
UH --
>> WHAT'S WRONG UNKIE ENDICOTT?
YOUR FOREHEAD IS ALL SWEATY.
>> M-MY NERVES.
MY -- MY -- MY NER--
[ CHUCKLES ]
MY NERVES ARE A BUST THESE DAYS.
>> HOW COME?
>> [ GASPS ]
UH, YES, YES.
MAYBE IT WOULD BE -- BE GOOD
TO -- TO TALK TO SOMEONE.
WELL, Y--
[ CLEARS THROAT ]
ACTUALLY, IT ALL BEGAN ONE DAY
WHEN I WAS EXPLORING MY
EXCEEDINGLY LARGE AND
LABYRINTHINE MANOR HERE.
I HAPPENED UPON A SECTION OF THE
HOUSE I DIDN'T EVEN RECALL
BUILDING.
[ LAUGHS ]
ISN'T THAT FUNNY?
MUST'VE BEEN THE OLD WING.
BUT IT WAS LIT IN A RATHER SORT
OF EER-- EERIE -- EERIE LIGHT.
AND I PRESSED ON, AND THEN I-I
SAW THE PAINTING OF THE MOST
BEAUTIFUL WOMAN I'VE EVER SEEN,
AND THAT'S WHEN THINGS TOOK A
RATHER STRANGE TURN.
FROM THAT DAY ON, I WAS OBSESSED
WITH THE WOMAN IN THE PORTRAIT.
SHE CON-- CONSUMED MY EVERY
THOUGHT.
I'D FALLEN IN LOVE -- HA HA --
WITH A GHOST.
[ BOTH GASP ]
>> OHHHHHHHHH.
>> IT'S TOO BIG. GET A GRIP.
>> OH, I MUST SOUND CRAZY,
MUSTN'T I?
[ CHUCKLES ]
PERHAPS IT'S TIME FOR YOU ALL TO
LEAVE MY TREASURE-FILLED HOME.
>> Both: NO!
>> YEAH, UNKIE!
I WANT TO SEE THE GHOST!
>> OHH, HOW I LONG TO SEE HER
JUST ONCE AGAIN, AS WELL, YES.
>> TO THE PAINTING!
>> YES. YES.
[ LAUGHS ]
>> OOH, BOY! GHOST HUNT!
>> FRED, GO WITH THEM.
BUY ME SOME TIME.
>> WHILE I'M AT IT, I'LL STEAL
OTHER STUFF, TOO.
[ CLOCK TICKING, BELL TOLLING ]
[ GLASS SHATTERS, RUSTLING ]
>> WE'RE SUPPOSED TO JUST BE
LOOKING FOR LOOSE CHANGE.
>> THAT'S WHAT I'M -- [ GASPS ]
>> AAH!
>> OOPS. THAT'S WHAT I'M DOING.
>> WELL, LET'S TRY NOT TO BREAK
ANY MORE --
AAH, GAH!
>> OH, HEY.
HEY, YOU DIDN'T CHECK THE
ARMOIRE.
[ TAPPING ]
[ BOTH GASP ]
>> ENDICOTT'S BACK. HIDE!
>> IS THAT THE PORTRAIT?
>> NO.
>> IS THAT THE PORTRAIT?
>> NO.
LOOK, W-W-WHY DON'T I-I JUST
TELL YOU WHEN WE REACH THE
PORTRAIT.
>> OKAY, WHAT'S THE MATTER,
UNKIE?
YOU SEEM TENSE.
>> YOU KNOW ME WELL, NEPHEW.
YES, THE TRUTH IS I'M
FRIGHTENED.
>> OF A GHOST?
GHOSTS ARE JUST FLOATY THINGS.
>> OH, NO, NO, NOT AFRAID OF THE
GHOST.
I MEAN I'M AFRAID WHAT --
WHAT -- WHAT IF THERE IS NO
GHOST?
WHAT IF I'M ON THE -- ON THE --
ON THE -- ON THE BRINK OF --
HMM -- MADNESS.
MAYBE THE DOCTORS WERE RIGHT.
COME ALONG, BOYS!
BACK TO THE PARLOR.
>> THE PARLOR?
WHAT WOULD ANYONE GO THE PARLOR
FOR?
THERE'S NOBODY IN THE PARLOR --
CERTAINLY NOBODY AFTER YOUR
MONEY.
>> YEAH, NO GIVING UP NOW,
OLD MAN.
IT'S GOT TO BE A GHOST!
>> BUT H-HOW CAN YOU BE SO
CERTAIN?
>> 'CAUSE I REALLY, REALLY WANT
TO SEE A GHOST -- REALLY BAD.
>> OH.
>> WHEW.
>> OKAY, I THINK THEY'RE GONE.
BEATRICE? YOU THERE?
>> BAH! YES, SMART GUY.
START SEARCHING FOR CHANGE.
>> UH, I CAN'T SEE ANYTHING IN
HERE.
[ RUSTLING ]
WELL, I-I DON'T THINK THESE
COATS HAVE POCKETS.
>> CHECK THE LINING.
MAYBE SOMEBODY SEWED MONEY INTO
THE FABRIC.
>> NOPE.
DO PEOPLE EVEN DO THAT?
>> I'VE DONE IT ON MY CLOTHES.
>> YOU WEAR CLOTHES?
LIKE A LITTLE BIRD VEST OR
SOMETHING?
[ LAUGHS ]
OR LITTLE BOWS?
>> WHEN I WAS A HUMAN, FOOL.
>> YOU USED TO BE HUMAN?
DID I KNOW THAT?
I-I DON'T THINK I KNEW THAT.
>> JIMINY CRICKET!
LET'S JUST FIND SOME COINS, ALL
RIGHT?
OPEN THE DOOR.
>> IT'S STUCK.
WELL, GUESS WE HAVE TO SPEND
SOME QUALITY TIME TOGETHER.
>> HELP!
>> THE GREENHOUSE.
[ SNIFFS ]
THIS IS WHERE I GROW MY CAMELLIA
FOR TESTING NEW TEAS.
PERHAPS WE SHOULD SAVOR THE --
THE QUIET TRANQUILITY OF THIS --
THIS PLACE.
[ SOOTHING MUSIC PLAYS, WATER
RUNNING ]
[ BOTH SIGH DEEPLY ]
[ TAPPING ]
>> [ SCREECHES ]
>> AAH! AAH! GHOST!
>> AAAAAAAAHH!
>> AAH! AAH!
I CAN'T DO IT!
>> UNCLE ENDICOTT, IT'S JUST A
FUNNY CHICKEN.
>> YES, O-ONE OF MY
PRIZE-WINNING ROASTING PEACOCKS.
YES, WITH ALL THIS LOVE IN MY
BRAIN, I, UH, FORGOT TO FEED
THEM.
IT'S ALMOST AS THOUGH I'VE LOST
MY MIND.
>> WE CAN LOOK FOR THAT AFTER WE
FIND OUR GHOST.
HEAVE-HO!
>> [ Laughing ] YES, YES.
HEAVE-HO.
INTO THE ABYSS...
NEVER TO RETURN.
>> [ GASPS ]
UM, ANYONE WANT TO GO BACK TO
THE PARLOR?
>> HEY. ARE YOU STILL THERE?
>> YES, WIRT. I'M STILL HERE.
>> SO, HOW DID YOU BECOME A
BLUEBIRD?
>> [ SIGHS ]
HEY, WHAT'S THAT?
>> DON'T CHANGE THE SUBJECT.
>> HMM.
[ WIND BLOWS ]
THERE'S A BREEZE COMING OUT OF
HERE.
>> OH, YEAH.
WHOA!
>> WHAT?!
>> A SECRET ENTRANCE!
SO, ABOUT YOUR DARK SECRET.
>> HEY, HOW ABOUT YOU TELL ME
YOUR DARK SECRETS INSTEAD, HUH?
>> MY SECRETS ARE TOO SECRET.
HEY, LOOK. LIGHT.
>> WHOA.
NOW WHO'S AVOIDING THE QUESTION?
>> YOU.
>> FINE.
I THREW A ROCK AT A BLUEBIRD,
AND IT CURSED ME AND MY FAMILY,
AND NOW WE'RE ALL BLUEBIRDS.
HAPPY? NOW YOU GO.
>> WHOA.
Y-YOUR WHOLE FAMILY?
>> YEAH.
>> IS THAT WHY YOU'RE GOING TO
ADELAIDE'S -- TO FIX THINGS?
>> THAT WAS THE PLAN, BUT --
[ SIGHS ]
YEAH, THAT WAS THE PLAN.
>> IT'LL ALL WORK OUT.
>> ALL I KNOW IS I AM NEVER
GOING BACK TILL I CAN MAKE THEM
HUMAN AGAIN.
I'D DO PRETTY MUCH ANYTHING.
>> [ SIGHS ]
ALL RIGHT. MY TURN, HUH?
OKAY.
WELL, IT'S WEIRD TO ADMIT IT,
BUT, WELL, I-I HAVE THIS CRUSH
ON THIS GIRL.
>> MM-HMM.
>> THAT'S ALL.
>> THAT'S ALL?
>> AND I THINK ABOUT HER A LOT,
AND I PLAY CLARINET.
>> WIRT!
YOU GOT TO BE KIDDING ME.
>> AND I SECRETLY WHISPER POETRY
TO MYSELF IN MY ROOM AT NIGHT.
>> WIRT, THAT STUFF'S NOT WEIRD.
THOSE ARE JUST --
[ SIGHS ]
WELL, THE POETRY THING IS WEIRD.
BUT THOSE ARE JUST CHARACTER
TRAITS.
YOU PLAYED CLARINET?
>> SORT OF.
>> WHAT ELSE DO YOU DO?
>> I DON'T KNOW.
UH -- HEY.
DOES THIS ROOM LOOK DIFFERENT TO
YOU?
>> UH, HOW SO?
>> IT'S LIKE FRENCH-ROCOCO
STYLE.
THAT DOESN'T REALLY SEEM IN LINE
WITH ENDICOTT'S GEORGIAN
SENSIBILITIES.
>> HOW -- WHAT?
WHO ON EARTH AM I TALKING TO
RIGHT NOW?
>> SHOULD I NOT KNOW THAT SORT
OF STUFF?
>> ENDICOTT PROBABLY JUST BUILT
IT WITHOUT THINKING, RIGHT?
>> OR -- WHOA. YEAH.
W-WHAT IF THE GHOST HE WAS
TALKING ABOUT WAS ACTUALLY...
>> [ WHIMPERING ]
>> THIS IS THE ROOM WHERE -- THE
ROOM WHERE I FIRST SAW HER.
>> WHOA!
JUST A BEDROOM?
>> JUST A BEDROOM, MY NEPHEW?
THIS IS THE CHAMBER OF MINE OWN
TRUE LOVE, AND HERE SHE STANDS,
HOVERING ABOVE US LIKE THE
BLINDING SUN.
>> HMM. NO GHOST?
>> NO GHOST?
THEN I AM...
MAD.
>> DON'T BE MAD.
HEY.
WHAT'S THIS SUSPICIOUS MESS OVER
HERE?
>> IT LOOKS LIKE THERE WAS A
STRUGGLE -- A VIOLENT STRUGGLE.
[ PLOP! ]
>> WHAT ARE YOU IMPLYING, MY
EQUINE FRIEND?
>> NOTHING, NOTHING.
I'M JUST -- ENDICOTT IS A CRAZED
LUNATIC WHO DID AWAY WITH THE
LADY OF THE HOUSE AND IS NOW
PRETENDING TO OWN THE PLACE!
>> WHAT?!
WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, MAKING
ACCUSA-- I SEE IT NOW.
YOU'RE AFTER MY MONEY.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT I DID FOR THIS
MONEY -- T-THE THINGS THESE
FILTHY HANDS HAVE DONE TO MAKE
THIS MONEY?!
>> I'LL NEVER STEAL AGAIN, I
SWEAR.
I'LL GET AN HONEST JOB.
>> AND WHAT SAY YOU, NEPHEW?
>> UH, I'M CONFUSED.
>> WELL, THEN --
[ GHOSTLY WAILING ]
>> [ SCREAMS ]
SHE COMES FOR ME!
>> WAIT, UNKIE! FACE YOUR FEARS!
>> [ GASPS ]
>> [ SIGHS DRAMATICALLY ]
>> [ SIGHS DRAMATICALLY ]
>> MR. ENDICOTT?
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
>> Psst! Ghost.
>> [ GASPS ]
>> WHAT DO YOU WANT WITH ME,
SPIRIT?
>> SPIRIT?
BUT YOU'RE THE GHOST.
>> MY LADY, I ASSURE YOU I AM
FLESH AND BLOOD AND I --
[ BREATHES DEEPLY ]
I WELCOME YOU TO MY HOME.
>> YOUR HOME?
GOOD SIR, YOU'RE IN MY HOME.
>> IMPOSSIBLE!
>> LOOK HERE. YOU SEE?
THIS IS MY CAMELLIA GARDEN FOR
MY TEA COMPANY.
>> MARGUERITTE GREY?!
WHY, WITH ALL DUE RESPECT,
MADAM, THIS IS MY TEA GARDEN.
>> QUINCY ENDICOTT?!
>> YOUR GUYS' MANSIONS ARE SO
HUGE THEY'RE ACTUALLY CONNECTED.
>> SO YOU -- YOU MEAN THAT
BEAUTIFUL GHOST WAS REALLY
JUST...
>> THAT DASHING SPECTER WAS
REALLY JUST...
>> Both: MY BUSINESS COMPETITOR?
[ BIRD CRIES ]
>> WELL, GREG, MY BOY, I CAN'T
THANK YOU ENOUGH FOR HELPING ME
TO FACE MY FEARS.
YOU'RE A -- YOU'RE A SWEET BOY
WITH GOOD SENSE.
TAKE THIS PENNY AND START YOUR
FORTUNE.
>> AND HERE'S ONE FROM ME, AS
WELL.
>> HEY, NICE.
NOW WE CAN RIDE THE FERRY.
WELL, EVERYBODY, I THINK IT'S
TIME WE HEAD TO
ADELAIDE OF THE PASTURE,
THE GOOD WOMAN OF THE WOODS.
UH, WHAT ABOUT YOU, FRED?
ARE YOU COMING WITH US?
>> NO, THANKS.
I'VE GOT A REAL JOB NOW AS AN
OFFICIAL TEA HORSE.
>> WELL, THEN I GUESS THAT'S IT.
>> OFF YOU GO, THE LOT OF YOU.
>> GOODBYE.
>> GOODBYE.
>> Both: GOODBYE.
>> AND DON'T FORGET TO BUY
ENDICOTT BRAND TEA.
>> HEY, WIRT.
YOU DID GOOD BACK THERE.
>> YEAH?
>> YOU GOT A LOT MORE GOING FOR
YOU THAN I THOUGHT.
HUH?
[ DISCORDANT ACCORDION PLAYS ]
>> GREG! OUR PENNIES!
WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!
>> 'CAUSE UNCLE ENDICOTT PEGGED
ME ALL WRONG -- I'VE GOT NO
"CENTS," NO "CENTS" AT ALL.
>> [ CROAKS ]
[ MYSTERIOUS CLASSICAL PIANO
PLAYS ]

Chapter 6: Lullaby in Frogland

[ WIND RUSHING, PASTORAL MUSIC
PLAYING ]
[ STEAM WHISTLE BLOWS ]
[ MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ]
[ FROGS CROAKING ]
>> [ SNORING ]
[ POP! ]
[ STEAM WHISTLE BLOWS ]
[ GLUG! GLUG! GLUG! GLUG! ]
>> HA HA! HA HA!
YEAH! WHOO!
HA HA! HA HA!
>> AHH.
WHAT A NICE WAY TO SPEND OUR
LAST DAY -- GOING TO ADELAIDE'S
HOUSE.
OUR JOURNEY IS FINALLY OVER.
PRETTY SOON I'LL BE BACK HOME.
I WON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THAT
WOODSMAN OR THAT BEAST OR
WHATEVER, AND YOU WON'T HAVE TO
PUT UP WITH US ANYMORE.
BET YOU'RE PRETTY HAPPY, HUH,
BEATRICE?
>> HUH? OH. YEAH. SURE.
>> YOU ALL RIGHT?
YOU SOUND UNCHARACTERISTICALLY
WISTFUL.
>> WHAT? SORRY.
JUST THINKING.
>> HMM.
>> OH, WE'RE GOING TO THE
PASTURE TO MEET ADELAIDE AND ASK
HER IF SHE HAS A WAY TO SEND US
BACK WHERE WE CAME FROM
I DON'T KNOW WHO SHE IS OR HOW
SHE IS OR WHEN, WHAT, WHY
SHE IS
>> BUT AS FOR WHERE SHE IS,
SHE IS WHERE WE WILL GO
TO ADELAIDE, TO ADELAIDE
COME ON AND JOIN THE ADELAIDE
PARADE
ADELAIDE, TO ADELAIDE
WE'RE GOING TO ADELAIDE'S
HOUSE TODAY
>> [ LAUGHS ]
BOY.
FINALLY GOING HOME.
>> [ SIGHS ]
>> HEY, WHAT'S WITH BEATRICE?
>> I DON'T KNOW.
WHAT'S WITH GEORGE WASHINGTON
BEING NAKED?
[ FANFARE PLAYS ]
>> WHAT?
>> ALL THE OTHER FROGS ARE
DRESSED UP NICE.
[ BOTH CROAKING ]
HE'S AN OUTCAST, AND HE'S COLD.
[ WIND GUSTS ]
FEEL THESE COLD FEET.
>> NO.
HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE COLD, GREG.
HE'S A FROG.
>> BUT HE'S OUR FROG!
>> WELL, HE'S NOT MY FROG -- OR
SHE'S NOT MY FROG.
WE DON'T REALLY KNOW ITS GENDER.
>> [ GASPS ]
COME ON, GEORGE.
YOU'RE A MANLY FROG, AND YOU
NEED SOME SOCKS.
>> [ CROAKS ]
[ WHISTLE BLOWS ]
>> HUH?
[ CROWD MURMURING ]
>> UH-OH.
IT LOOKS LIKE WE'RE IN TROUBLE.
>> [ GASPS ]
IT'S 'CAUSE THE PRESIDENT IS
NUDE!
>> IT'S PROBABLY 'CAUSE YOU
SNUCK ON WITHOUT PAYING.
>> OH, YEAH.
BUT THAT'S BECAUSE GREG THREW
ALL OUR MONEY AWAY.
TAKE HIM, NOT ME!
>> AAAAAAAAAH!
[ WHISTLE BLOWING ]
[ FLIES BUZZING ]
>> SORRY!
>> [ BREATHING HEAVILY ]
[ BLOWING CONTINUES ]
>> TADPOLES!
YOUR BABIES!
[ TADPOLES CRYING ]
>> [ CRYING ]
>> [ BREATHING HEAVILY ]
[ BLOWING CONTINUES ]
[ SQUISH! SQUISH! ]
>> AHH.
>> GOOD DAY, GENTLE--
[ CLEARS THROAT ]
[ Deep voice ] GOOD DAY,
GENTLEMEN.
WE -- I -- MUST BE GOING NOW TO
JOIN THE BAND.
>> Wirt, drum me!
>> Okay.
>> OW! OW, OW!
OW! OW, OW!
[ POP! POP! ]
ARE WE GOOD?
>> WHEW! I THINK SO.
>> WIRT, SOMETIMES YOU GOT TO
FACE YOUR PROBLEMS.
TURN YOURSELF IN AND GET KICKED
OFF THIS BOAT.
>> I DON'T THINK TODAY'S A GOOD
DAY TO GET ARRESTED BY FROGS.
>> HMM. WELL...
>> HEY! WHAT'S GOING ON?
>> DON'T PUSH ME!
>> OOF! OOF! OOF!
[ INSTRUMENTS WARMING UP ]
>> [ GRUNTS ]
>> OKAY, EVERYBODY.
ACT NATURAL.
>> DRUM ME! DRUM ME!
>> I SAID, "ACT NATURAL."
>> IT IS NATURAL! I'M A DRUM!
[ MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ]
WIRT, DRUM ME!
DRUM ME IN THE FACE!
>> OKAY! OKAY! SHH!
DON'T DRAW ATTENTION TO US!
[ SMACK! ]
[ FROGS CROAKING ]
[ FLIES BUZZING ]
>> WHOA!
[ HONK! ]
WHOA!
>> NO BASSOON PLAYER.
UH-OH.
[ FROGS CROAKING ANGRILY ]
DOG, THOSE FROGS REALLY LOVE THE
BASSOON!
[ CROAKING CONTINUES ]
HUH?
>> HMM.
>> OH, NO.
BEATRICE, I'M TOO YOUNG TO GO TO
FROG JAIL.
>> HEY, WHY DON'T YOU PLAY THE
BASSOON?
>> THAT'LL GET US KICKED OFF
THIS BOAT FOR SURE.
>> [ GASPS ]
NO, GREG'S RIGHT.
YOU SHOULD PLAY IT.
GO AHEAD. YOU'LL DO FINE.
YOU PLAY INSTRUMENTS, RIGHT?
>> YEAH, BUT BASSOON AND
CLARINET ARE WAY DIFFERENT.
I DON'T HAVE THE EMBOUCHURE FOR
BASSOON.
I MEAN, THE LOWER AND MIDDLE
RANGES HAVE SOME SIMILARITIES IN
TERMS OF --
>> WIRT, YOU CAN DO IT.
>> SERIOUSLY, NOBODY WANTS TO
HEAR ME PLAY.
>> I DO!
>> I DO!
>> [ CROAKS ]
>> UH...
[ CROAKING CONTINUES ]
>> WIRT?
>> YEAH. HERE WE GO.
[ BASSOON HONKING AND
SQUEAKING ]
>> OW. OW. OW. OW.
[ MUSIC RESUMES ]
>> AT NIGHT WHEN THE LAKE IS A
MIRROR
>> HUH?
>> WHOA!
>> AND THE MOON RIDES THE
WAVES TO THE SHORE
A SINGLE SOUL SETS HIS VOICE
SINGING
CONTENT TO BE SLIGHTLY
FORLORN
A SONG RISES OVER THE LILIES
>> WAH-OOH, WAH-OOH
>> SWEEPS HIGH TO CLEAR OVER
THE REEDS
AND OVER THE BULLRUSHES
SWAYING
TO PLUCK AT A PAIR OF
HEARTSTRINGS
>> HEY, BEATRICE, THANKS FOR
SUPPORTING MY BASSOONING.
>> YEAH. YOU'RE ACTUALLY GOOD.
>> THE BEST PART IS WE'RE STILL
ON TRACK TO GET TO ADELAIDE'S.
>> YEP. THAT'S GREAT.
>> YOU DON'T SEEM THRILLED.
>> WELL, I JUST --
I DON'T WANT YOU TO --
NEVER MIND. NEVER MIND.
>> CARRIES THEIR MEMORY ON
[ ALL GASP ]
>> [ GASPS ]
[ WHISTLE BLOWS ]
>> All: SHH!
>> UH...
[ MUSIC RESUMES ]
>> OVER THE TREETOPS AND
MOUNTAINS
OVER THE BLACKENED RAVINES
>> OHH!
>> THEN SOFTLY IT FALLS BY A
HOUSE NEAR A STREAM
AND OVER THE GARDEN WALL
TO THEE
>> AHH.
I KNEW YOU WERE SPECIAL.
[ STEAM WHISTLE BLOWS ]
[ FROGS CROAKING ]
>> WHAT ARE THEY DOING?
>> LOOKS LIKE THEY'RE...
HIBERNATING IN THE MUD.
>> SO, WHERE'S ADELAIDE'S HOUSE?
IS IT CLOSE?
>> IT'S -- HMM.
WE SHOULD PROBABLY JUST GO
TOMORROW, I THINK.
WE DON'T WANT TO BOTHER HER TOO
LATE, YOU KNOW?
>> WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO --
JUST SIT AROUND IN THE MUD WITH
THESE FROGS?
>> [ GASPS ]
I CALL THAT MUD OVER THERE!
HA HA HA! YEAH!
>> SO, THEN WHAT?
>> WELL, THEN I WENT TO GO TALK
TO SARA -- I MEAN, LIKE REALLY
TALK TO HER, YOU KNOW -- PUT ALL
MY CARDS ON THE TABLE, YOU KNOW?
>> YEAH.
>> AND THEN JASON FUNDERBERKER
COMES OUT OF NOWHERE AND WHISKS
HER AWAY!
UGH! JASON FUNDERBERKER --
THAT GUY.
[ GROWLS ]
PLUS GREG WAS AROUND.
HE WOULD HAVE EMBARRASSED ME
EVEN MORE.
>> WELL, WIRT, SOUNDS LIKE
YOU'RE A REAL LOSER BACK HOME.
>> OH, THANKS A LOT.
>> I MEAN COMPARED TO HOW YOU
ARE HERE.
HERE YOU'RE LIKE A HERO AND
STUFF, RIGHT?
>> AM I?
WELL, I DON'T KNOW IF I'D SAY,
"HERO," BUT --
>> DO YOU THINK THAT I COULD BE
A HERO, TOO?
HUH?
[ FROGS CROAKING ]
[ GASPS ]
YOU DONE GOOD, MR. PRESIDENT.
YOU DONE GOOD.
>> IF I WAS YOU, I WOULDN'T EVEN
WANT TO GO HOME.
>> YEAH, BUT I-I CAN'T STAY HERE
FOREVER.
>> WHY NOT?
>> HMM? WHY NOT?
BECAUSE -- BECAUSE I-I CAN'T
JUST -- MAYBE IT IS BETTER TO
STAY HERE.
>> GREAT. THEN IT'S AGREED.
WE'RE NOT GOING TO ADELAIDE'S.
GOOD NIGHT, WIRT.
>> OH, WHAT?
OH. GOOD NIGHT, BEATRICE.
[ WIND BLOWING ]
>> BEATRICE.
GREG, WAKE UP!
>> HUH?
>> BEATRICE TOOK OFF!
>> WHAT?
>> COME ON!
>> MMM.
[ BREATHES DEEPLY ]
>> COME ON, GREG!
>> I'M COMING.
[ BANGING ]
>> [ COUGHING ]
>> CLOSE THE FLUE.
THAT FRESH AIR DOES SIMPLY
GRUESOME THINGS TO MY TENDER,
DELICATE SKIN.
>> ADELAIDE, WE NEED TO TALK.
>> DID YOU BRING ME WHAT I ASKED
FOR?
>> I FOUND TWO BROTHERS LOST IN
THE WOODS, BUT I CAN'T GIVE THEM
TO YOU, ADELAIDE.
THEY NEED TO GO HOME.
>> NONSENSE!
I'LL GIVE THEM A WONDERFUL HOME
HERE.
>> THAT'S WHAT YOU SAID, BUT --
>> CAN'T YOU SEE I'M SICK AND
HELPLESS?
[ IMITATING COUGHING ]
AH-CHOO!
I'M ALL ALONE IN THE WORLD.
I WANT A CHILD SERVANT.
>> SERVANT?
I THOUGHT YOU JUST WANTED SOME
YARD WORK DONE.
>> OUR ARRANGEMENT WAS FOR YOU
TO BRING ME A CHILD SERVANT AND
THEN I GIVE YOU THE SCISSORS...
TO SNIP, SNIP, SNIP YOUR
FAMILY'S WINGS AWAY TO MAKE THEM
HUMAN AGAIN.
>> WHAT IF I BECAME YOUR
SERVANT?
>> HA!
I NEED A BIG, STRONG CHILD!
>> YOU CAN TURN ME INTO A HUMAN,
CAN'T YOU?
>> OH, YES -- SCISSORS!
>> YEAH. YEAH.
SO, GIVE ME THE SCISSORS.
I'LL GO HELP MY FAMILY.
[ GASPS ] WIRT!
>> CLOSE THE DOOR!
I'LL CATCH MY DEATH OF COLD!
>> WHAT'S GOING ON?
>> YOU SHOULDN'T BE HERE.
>> ADELAIDE?
>> WELCOME HOME, CHILDREN.
>> HUH?
>> HUH?
>> Both: AAAH!
>> BEATRICE, WH-WHAT --
>> I...
>> BUT I THOUGHT WE WERE
FRIENDS.
>> NOW THEY'RE MINE.
AND ONCE I FILL THEIR HEADS WITH
WOOL, THEY'LL BECOME JUST LIKE
LITTLE SHEEP AND FOLLOW MY EVERY
COMMAND.
>> ALL ALONG, YOU'VE BEEN
LEADING US TO THIS CRAZY LADY?
>> I DO AS HE COMMANDS -- THE
VOICE OF THE NIGHT, THE BEAST OF
ETERNAL DARKNESS.
>> [ GRUNTING ]
>> WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
OHH!
THE NIGHT AIR IS POISONOUS!
>> BREATHE IT IN, LADY.
WIRT, GREG, LET'S GO!
>> THE DEADLY...AIR!
>> WHOA! GEEZ!
SHE WASN'T KIDDING!
>> IT'S FRESH!
OHHHHHH!
>> HUH?
[ HINGES CREAK ]
WIRT? GREG?
[ COUGHING ]
GREG! WIRT!
IT WASN'T WHAT IT LOOKED LIKE!
I WAS JUST -- PLEASE COME BACK!
OHH.
[ CRYING ]
>> HMM.
>> WIRT, WHAT ABOUT BEATRICE?
>> HMM. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TRUSTED
ANYONE.
>> [ CROAKS ]
>> HUH?
BENJAMIN FRANKLIN!
>> [ CROAKS ]
>> HURRY IT UP, GREG.
[ WIND BLOWING ]

Chapter 7: The Ringing of the Bell

[ WIND RUSHING, PASTORAL MUSIC
PLAYING ]
[ THUNDER RUMBLES ]
>> [ BREATHING HEAVILY ]
WHAT ARE WE DOING?
>> WE'RE WALKING, GREG.
>> BUT WHERE?
>> A PLACE TO WAIT OUT THIS
RAIN.
>> OH. BUT...
[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]
SHOULDN'T WE WAIT FOR BEATRICE?
>> [ SIGHS ]
I DON'T NEED BEATRICE.
I-I'LL FIGURE THIS OUT ON MY
OWN.
>> OH, THAT'S GOOD.
I'M GLAD YOU HAVE A PLAN.
HEY, WIRT?
>> WHAT?
>> SO, WHAT'S THE PLAN?
'CAUSE YOU'RE NOT SAYING ANY
DETAILS, SO IT'S HARD FOR ME --
>> GREG, I DO HAVE A PLAN.
AND IF YOU DON'T TRUST ME, THEN
YOU DON'T HAVE TO FOLLOW ME,
OKAY?
IF YOU WANT TO GO LOOK FOR
BEATRICE, GO AHEAD.
YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU WANT.
>> ANYTHING?
THAT'S A LOT OF POWER.
[ CRASH ]
WIRT!
OH, NO!
ID I KNOCK DOWN THAT TREE WITH
MY POWERS?
SORRY. ARE YOU OKAY?
>> YEAH.
THAT TREE JUST CAME AT ME OUT OF
NOWHERE.
GREG, LOOK -- AX MARKS.
SOMEONE CHOPPED IT DOWN.
>> INDEED. 'TWAS I.
>> [ GASPS ]
>> AAH! OHH!
>> STOP! LISTEN!
THE BEAST KNOWS YOUR PRESENCE!
READY TO CLAIM YOU AS PART OF
HIS DARK FOREST, BUT ONLY IF YOU
GIVE UP!
KEEP HEARTY IN BOTH BODY AND
SPIRIT AND YOU SHALL BE SAFE
FROM HIM.
FALL ILL OR LOSE HOPE AND YOUR
LIFE SHALL PASS INTO HIS CROOKED
HANDS.
UGH! CHILDREN!
PLEASE, HEED MY WARNING!
BOYS, BEWARE THE BEAST!
>> WOODSMAN.
>> HUH?
>> WE SHOULD TALK.
[ THUNDER RUMBLES ]
>> [ GRUNTS ]
>> [ GRUNTS ]
I THINK WE LOST HIM.
>> HA HA! YOU GOT HIM WITH THE
OLD KICKEROO!
>> SEE? I GOT IT UNDER CONTROL.
I DON'T NEED BEATRICE.
NOW, TO FIND SOMEPLACE TO WAIT
OUT THIS RAIN...
>> AS LONG AS IT'S NOT THAT OLD,
BROKEN-DOWN --
>> SHH!
IT'S PERFECT!
COME ON, GREG!
>> UH, WIRT...
AIN'T THAT JUST THE WAY?
[ FROG CROAKING ]
>> THIS PLACE ISN'T SO BAD.
HUH?
>> MAYBE.
DUM DUM-DUM DUM-DUM DUM DUM
[ CROAKING CONTINUES ]
>> GET THAT FROG OUT OF YOUR
PANTS.
>> HE CAN DO WHAT HE WANTS.
HEY, WHAT'S IN THESE OLD
BASKETS?
WHOA!
>> WHAT?
>> WE'RE RICH!
>> WHAT?
>> LOOK!
IT'S FULL OF BLACK TURTLES!
WE'RE TURTLE RICH!
>> [ GROANS ]
>> [ CHUCKLES ]
>> YOU KNOW, IT'S KIND OF FUNNY,
FINDING A BASKET OF TURTLES IN
AN ABANDONED HOUSE, HUH?
>> HA HA! YEAH.
[ LAUGHS ]
>> GREG, NOT THAT KIND OF FUNNY.
>> HUH? OH.
>> AUNTIE?
AUNTIE, I FINISHED SORTING --
[ GASPS ]
>> [ GASPS ]
>> WHO ARE YOU?!
>> WE'RE BURGLARS!
>> NO, NO. NO, NO.
WE'RE -- WE'RE NOT.
WE JUST NEEDED TO GET OUT OF THE
RAIN, AND WE THOUGHT THIS PLACE
WAS ABANDONED, SO WE --
>> SO WE CAME HERE TO BURGLE
YOUR TURTS.
>> NO, IT'S NOT TRUE.
>> IT IS TRUE!
[ LAUGHS ]
OH, OKAY. I GIVE UP.
>> HA! SEE?
>> I BELIEVE YOU, BUT, PLEASE
[COUGHS] HIDE YOURSELVES AT
ONCE.
AUNTIE WHISPERS IS COMING SOON.
>> UH, WHAT?
[ BOTH GASP ]
[ FOOTSTEPS APPROACH ]
>> HIDE, QUICKLY!
WELCOME HOME, AUNTIE.
>> LORNA, MY SWEET CHILD.
[ SNIFFS ]
HMM. HAS ANYONE COME HERE TODAY?
>> NAY, AUNTIE -- NOT A SOUL.
>> THEN NO ONE SHALL BE DEVOURED
ALIVE TONIGHT?
>> NAY, I PRAY NOT, MUM.
>> DEVOURED ALIVE?
>> YOU'RE A GOOD GIRL, LORNA,
BUT YOU DECEIVE ME.
>> I SPEAK THE TRUTH, AUNTIE.
I SWEAR.
>> DECEIVE ME NOT, CHILD.
I CAN SMELL THEM.
[ SNIFFING ]
I CAN SMELL THE CHILDREN IN THIS
HOUSE.
>> WHAT? CHILDREN?
I'M, LIKE, IN HIGH SCHOOL.
>> YEAH, WELL, YOU STILL STINK.
>> SHH!
>> YOU "SHH."
>> TELL ME WHERE YOU ARE HIDING
THEM, PRECIOUS ONE.
>> I --
>> THE RINGING OF THE BELL
COMMANDS YOU.
[ BELL RINGING ]
>> [ GASPS ]
LOOK [GASPS] IN THE BASKET.
>> YOU HAVE ENTERED THE HOUSE OF
DOOM, CHILDREN -- YOUR DOOM.
>> [ GASPS ]
>> OH. MY DEAR, WHY, ALL ALONG,
YOU MEANT IT BE THE TURTLES THAT
SMELL SO RIPE.
>> A-A-AYE.
THAT IS WHAT I MEANT.
>> [ SNIFFS ] MM.
[ MUNCHING ]
THEN YOU HAVE NO EVIL SECRETS TO
KEEP?
>> NAY. I HAVE NONE.
>> THEN OFF TO BED GO I, AND
YOU, LORNA -- YOU SHALL SORT THE
BONES OF THOSE WHO HAVE BEEN
EATEN HERE BEFORE.
>> I HAVE FINISHED ALREADY.
>> THEN CLEAN THIS FLOOR UNTIL
IT SHINES.
THE RINGING OF THE BELL COMMANDS
YOU.
>> [ GASPS ]
YES, AUNTIE WHISPERS.
>> YOU KNOW I DO THIS FOR YOU,
CHILD.
KEEPING YOU BUSY IS THE ONLY WAY
TO KEEP EVIL SPIRITS FROM
DRIVING YOU TO WICKEDNESS.
>> DO NOT WORRY,
AUNTIE WHISPERS.
THE WORK SHALL KEEP ME BUSY.
[ COUGHS ]
>> GOOD NIGHT, MY DEAR.
AND DOWSE THAT FIRE.
I DID NOT ASK YOU TO LIGHT IT.
[ SNORING ]
>> COME OUT, MY TURTLES.
SHE SLEEPS.
>> [ GRUNTS ]
>> YOU SURE?
>> AYE.
[ COUGHS ]
>> UH, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
YOU'VE BEEN COUGHING A LOT.
>> [ COUGHS ] IT'S MY ILLNESS.
IT'S THE REASON AUNTIE WHISPERS
IS SO HARD ON ME.
>> GOSH! THAT LADY IS SO BAD.
YOU SHOULD GO SEE A DOCTOR.
>> AUNTIE DOES NOT ALLOW
VISITORS HERE.
SHE BELIEVES OUTSIDERS WILL LEAD
ME TO BECOME WICKED.
>> YEAH. SEE?
THAT'S SUPERWEIRD.
I DON'T MEAN TO INSULT YOUR
FAMILY, BUT --
>> OH, SHE'S NOT MY REAL AUNT.
>> OH, MY GOSH. SEE?!
>> HEY, WHERE'D DR. CUCUMBER GO?
[ FROG CROAKS ]
HEY, I'M GONNA GET YOU!
>> SO, YOU GOT TO KEEP SWEEPING
TILL YOU'RE DONE?
>> MM-HMM.
THE WORK NEVER ENDS.
BY THE TIME THIS TASK IS
COMPLETE, SHE WILL RETURN AND
ORDER ME TO A NEW TASK, AND SO
IT GOES.
>> IF I HELP AND WE GET THE WORK
DONE FAST, MAYBE YOU CAN...
>> ESCAPE? WITH YOU?
>> YEAH.
>> CAN WE ESCAPE WITH YOU, TOO?
[ FROG CROAKS ]
>> GREG...
>> HMM. YES.
PERHAPS THIS -- THIS TIME IT
COULD BE DIFFERENT.
HERE.
[ GASPS ]
[ COUGHS ]
>> UH, I'LL TAKE THAT SIDE.
>> MM, SOMETHING WEIRD IS GOING
ON.
[ FROG CROAKS ]
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
>> HERE WE ARE
>> TWO OF US, LIKE SHIPS
>> LIKE SHIPS
>> Both: UPON A WINDING
RIVER
>> AND YET
>> AND YET
>> Both: SOMEHOW WE FOUND EACH
OTHER
LIKE STRANGERS, YOU AND I
>> HEY!
YOU CAN RUN AND YOU CAN HIDE!
PAGING DR. CUCUMBER!
YOU'RE NEEDED IN THE OPERATING
RO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-OM!
[ FROG CROAKS ]
>> WELL, LOOKS PRETTY GOOD.
I THINK WE'RE DONE.
>> AAAAH!
>> WHY HAVE YOU COME HERE?
>> OOPS!
>> YOU SHAN'T REMAIN ALIVE FOR
LONG IN THIS HOUSE.
>> AAAH!
>> I'M WARNING YOU, CHILDREN --
KEEP AWAY FROM MY LORNA, OR YOU
SHALL BE HASTILY GOBBLED UP!
>> WE -- WE DON'T WANT NO
TROUBLE, LADY.
LET'S JUST TALK IT OUT.
I'M WIRT.
>> LORNA, COME HERE.
>> UH...UH...
>> THE RINGING OF THE BELL
COMMAN-- UH, WHERE --
DID I PUT THE BELL ON MY
NIGHTSTAND?
>> FOLLOW ME.
>> NOOOOOOOOOOOO!
COME OUT BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE.
UNLOCK THIS DOOR.
SHE WILL DEVOUR YOU.
>> WHAT IS SHE TALKING ABOUT?
>> [ HISSES ]
>> Both: AAH!
>> MORE BONES TO SORT.
>> Both: NO!
>> I TOLD YOU BOYS TO STAY AWAY
FROM HER, BUT NOW YOU'VE GONE
AND MADE HER WICKED AGAIN.
>> OH-HO!
FOR SOME REASON, I THOUGHT THAT
OLD LADY WAS THE PEOPLE-EATER,
BUT IT WAS LORNA ALL ALONG.
IT JUST GOES TO SHOW YOU STUFF.
NOW I HAVE A PLAN THAT'LL --
UGH!
>> [ GRUNTS ]
>> [ GRUNTS ]
HA HA! YOUR PLAN WAS BETTER.
>> I'M SORRY, MY TURTLES...
>> [ BREATHING HEAVILY ]
>> ...BUT I MUST FEED!
[ BOTH GRUNTING ]
>> GREG!
>> LET'S TRY MY PLAN NOW.
>> [ MOANS ]
>> THE RINGING OF THE BELL
COMMANDS YOU.
[ BELL RINGING ]
>> WHAT THE --
>> OH. HE ATE THE WITCH'S MAGIC
BELL WHEN WE WERE --
>> FINE! DO SOMETHING.
>> OH. I COMMAND YOU TO...
>> THE SPIRIT COMPELS ME.
>> ...TRANSFORM INTO A MAGICAL
TIGER.
>> THE RINGING -- THE RINGING OF
THE BELL COMMANDS YOU!
STOP MAKING LORNA DO BAD STUFF,
SPIRIT!
>> [ ROARS ]
>> AND ALSO GO AWAY AND DON'T
COME BACK.
>> [ ROARS ]
[ ZAP ]
[ THUD ]
>> LORNA! LORNA!
>> WIRT, LOOK!
>> [ MOANING ]
[ ZAP ]
>> LORNA!
>> WIRT, YOU SAVED ME.
>> LORNA? LORNA?
OH, MY LORNA.
>> AUNTIE WHISPERS!
>> I THOUGHT THEY'D STOLEN YOU
AWAY.
>> NO, AUNTIE. THEY SAVED ME.
THEY BANISHED THE EVIL SPIRIT
WITH THE POWER OF THE BELL!
>> YOU CAN HAVE IT BACK AFTER
GREG JR. GOES TO THE BATHROOM.
>> OH, LORNA [SNIFFS] THAT'S
WONDERFUL, DEAR.
>> AUNTIE WHISPERS, WHAT'S
WRONG?
>> WELL, NOW THAT YOU'RE CURED,
YOU WON'T BE NEEDING OLD
AUNTIE WHISPERS ANY MORE TO LOOK
AFTER YOU.
>> OH, AUNTIE, NO.
>> OHH.
>> I WOULD NEVER LEAVE YOU.
YOU ARE MY FAMILY.
>> AH. OHH.
>> THANK YOU SO MUCH, WIRT.
>> AND A BIT OF ADVICE -- BEWARE
OF MY SISTER, ADELAIDE.
SHE LIVES IN THE PASTURE.
SHE MUST NOT BE TRUSTED.
>> PERHAPS I'LL SEE YOU AGAIN
SOMEDAY.
I HOPE SO.
>> SMELL YOU LATER.
>> WOW, WIRT!
YOU SAVED THE DAY TWICE TODAY!
>> YEAH, I GUESS.
BUT SO WHAT?
WE'RE STILL NOT ANY CLOSER TO
GETTING HOME.
I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING
OUT HERE ANYMORE.
I DON'T KNOW IF WE'LL EVER GET
BACK HOME.
>> SURE, WE WILL!
WHAT CAN STOP US?
YOU GOT A PLAN, REMEMBER?
>> I LIED.
>> AW, COME ON.
LET'S GO, CAPTAIN!
LEAD THE WAY!
YOU CAN DO IT!
>> [ SIGHS ]
>> YES. YES.
ALL HOPE WILL SOON BE LOST.
WE'RE LUCKY THE BOY HAD THE
PLUCK TO BEST YOU.
YOUR PLAY COULD HAVE COST US
BOTH.
DON'T YOU CARE ABOUT KEEPING THE
LANTERN LIT?
DON'T YOU CARE ABOUT YOUR
DAUGHTER'S SOUL?
>> ONE CANNOT TRADE THE SOULS OF
CHILDREN AS IF THEY WERE TOKENS!
THERE HAS TO BE ANOTHER WAY.
>> NO. THERE IS ONLY ME.
THERE IS ONLY MY WAY.
THERE IS ONLY THE FOREST, AND
THERE IS ONLY SURRENDER.

Chapter 8: Babes in the Woods

[ WIND RUSHING, PASTORAL MUSIC
PLAYING ]
[ FROGS CROAKING ]
>> HOME!
HOME?
HOME!
HOME!
HOME?
COULD BE AROUND ANY CORNER.
>> TRA-LA-LA-LA
TRA-LA-LA-LA
>> [ GASPS ]
HEY, CAPTAIN, DO YOU HEAR THAT
SINGING?
>> [ CROAKS ]
>> NOT YOU, SKIPPER.
I'M TALKING TO THE CAPTAIN.
>> [ CROAKS ]
>> CAPTAIN WIRT, DO YOU KNOW
WHO'S SINGING?
>> I DON'T KNOW MUCH OF ANYTHING
ANYMORE.
>> OH.
DID YOU KNOW THAT DINOSAURS HAD
BIG EARS BUT EVERYONE FORGOT
'CAUSE DINOSAUR EARS DON'T HAVE
BONES?
>> NO. I -- I DIDN'T KNOW THAT,
GREG.
>> THAT'S 'CAUSE IT'S NOT TRUE.
IT'S A ROCK FACT!
>> TRA-LA-LA-LA
>> THE BEAST.
IT MUST BE THE BEAST OUT THERE.
THE OBSIDIAN CRICKET OF OUR
INEVITABLE TWILIGHT SINGING OUR
REQUIEM.
>> HMM. YEAH!
MUST BE A REALLY FAT CRICKET.
[ THUDS ]
>> [ GASPS ]
[ BUGLE PLAYS ]
LOOK! WE'VE REACHED LAND!
FEEL THE DIRT!
AHH. SMELL THAT TREE.
WE MUST BE ALMOST THERE.
>> GREG?
>> YES, WIRT?
>> CAN WE PLEASE STOP PRETENDING
WE'RE GONNA GET HOME?
>> HUH?
>> CAN WE ADMIT WE'RE LOST FOR
GOOD?
THAT THIS FOG IS DEEPER THAN WE
CAN EVER UNDERSTAND?
THAT WE ARE BUT WAYWARD LEAVES,
SCATTERED TO THE AIR BY AN
INDIFFERENT WIND?
CAN WE JUST ADMIT WE'RE NEVER
GONNA GET BACK HOME, GREG?
CAN WE DO THAT?
>> WIRT, YOU CAN DO ANYTHING IF
YOU SET YOUR MIND TO IT.
THAT'S WHAT THE OLD PEOPLE SAY.
>> WELL, THEN LET'S DO THAT.
>> YES, SIR, CAPTAIN!
[ BUGLE PLAYS ]
>> GREG!
YOU NEED TO STOP ACTING
RIDICULOUS ALL THE TIME.
>> HUH?
>> LOOK, DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHY
WE GOT LOST IN THE FIRST PLACE?
IT'S 'CAUSE YOU WERE GOOFING
AROUND AND GETTING INTO TROUBLE
LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO.
>> REALLY?
IT WAS ALL MY FAULT?
>> YEAH, SO...IT'S NOT MY JOB TO
GET US HOME, OKAY?
I'M DONE.
>> ARE YOU SAYING I SHOULD BE
THE LEADER?
>> I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU DO.
>> BUT IF I'M THE LEADER...
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA BE?
>> I'LL BE ASLEEP.
>> WOW.
WELL, THEN I BETTER TAKE A NAP,
TOO.
I NEED TO DREAM UP A GOOD WAY OF
LEADING US HOME.
THANKS FOR TRUSTING ME, WIRT.
DON'T WORRY.
I WON'T LET YOU DOWN.
I'LL BE A GOOD LEADER.
GOOD NIGHT.
[ BREATHES DEEPLY ]
STAR, OH, STAR, UP IN THE SKY,
GUIDE MY DREAMS WITH LIGHT THAT
SHINES.
HELP ME KNOW JUST WHAT TO DO
TO GET WIRT HOME AND ALSO ME,
TOO.
AND IF YOU DON'T, I DON'T CARE.
I'LL PULL DOWN YOUR UNDERWEAR.
[ SOFT MUSIC PLAYS ]
>> FORWARD, CHERUBS
HEAR THE SONG
A CHILD'S WISHES CALL US ON
DESCEND!
DESCEND!
>> Psst! HEY!
>> [ GROANS ] HUH?
WHOA!
>> THE DREAMS OUR WINGED WIND
HATH MADE
FOR ONLY BENEATH THE VEIL
>> [ GASPS ]
WHOA.
OF SLEEP
>> WHOOOOOA!
WHOA!
WHOA!
WOW!
>> HEY, GREG!
>> [ GASPS ]
>> NICE TO SEE YOU!
>> HEY, EVERYBODY!
>> All: WELCOME TO CLOUD CITY!
>> THANK YOU! THANK YOU!
MY NAME'S GREG.
WHAT ARE YOURS?
>> WE'RE THE CLOUD CITY
RECEPTION COMMITTEE
AND WE ARE HERE TO WELCOME
THEE
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> OH, WOW, NEAT.
>> AND WE'RE THE CLOUD CITY
AUXILIARY RECEPTION
COMMITTEE
AND WE ARE ALSO HERE TO
WELCOME THEE
>> THANK YOU.
>> AND WE'RE THE HIPPOPOTAMUS
GIRAFFE, AND MONKEY
AND WE ARE COMMITTEE NUMBER
THREE
>> OKAY. ARE THERE MORE?
[ SCARY MUSIC PLAYS ]
[ THUNDER RUMBLES ]
>> WELL, THAT'S ENOUGH.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> All: SO, WHAT BRINGS YOU TO
CLOUD CITY?
>> WELL, I'M SUPPOSED TO BE A
LEADER, BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW.
>> All: WHY DON'T YOU LEAD OUR
BAND IN A SONG?
>> OKAY.
[ UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ]
>> EVERYTHING IS NICE AND FINE
ALL THE TIME
THE SOFTEST CLOUDS AND RAINBOW
SKIES
AIN'T GONNA LIE
WE ALWAYS HAVE THE MOST
SPECTACULAR TIME TOGETHER
EVERYONE IS SITTIN' PRETTY
ON TOP OF THE WEATHER
LASSO A CLOUD AND MAKE THE
FLOWERS GROW
TIE THEM IN A BOW TO THROW AT
THE END OF THE SHOW
OUR SONGS ARE FILLED WITH
LOVE
THE SWEETEST LOVE
AND WE CAN SEND THEM DOWN
TO YOU
WITH A LITTLE SHOVE
SO HITCH A RIDE INTO THE SKY
AND JOIN OUR BAND
BRING HARPS AND LUTES, KAZOOS,
TROMBONES AND FLUTES
OR JUST YOUR POTS AND PANS
WE CAN WRITE A LITTLE JIG
OUT OF THE MIGHTY BLUE
AND WE WILL BE HERE JUST FOR
YOU
>> WHEE! WHEE!
[ OFF-KEY NOTE PLAYS ]
>> HEE-HEE!
[ NOTES PLAY ]
OHH!
[ THUNDER CRASHES ]
>> All: OH, NOOOOO!
>> THE NORTH WIND IS LOOSE!
[ ALL SCREAMING ]
>> OH, YEAH, THE OL'
NORTH WIND
STARTS TO HOWL
PUFFS UP AND FURROWS HIS
BROW
NOW, NOW
YOU BETTER TAKE COVER
LOCK UP THOSE DOORS
AND CLOSE THE SHUTTERS
I SAY, THE OL' NORTH WIND
YES, HE IS
HE'S GONNA FIGHT
HE'S GONNA SPIN
HE'S GONNA PULL BACK
AND BLOW A LITTLE MORE
UNTIL YOU CAN'T TELL WHAT YOU
CAME HERE FOR
OH, YEAH
>> FIRE!
>> THE OL' NORTH WIND
YES, INDEED
HE'S GONNA BREATHE AND
BREATHE
HE'S GONNA BLOW
[ THUNDER CRASHES ]
BLOW TILL YOU CAN'T FEEL NO
MORE
>> WIRT? GREG?
IS ANYONE OUT THERE?
[ THUNDER CRASHES ]
AAH!
[ SHUDDERING ]
>> [ LAUGHING EVILLY ]
[ THUNDER CRASHES ]
[ ALL GASP ]
[ WIND HOWLING ]
[ LAUGHING ]
>> HEY, NORTH WIND!
PBHT!
>> [ GRUMBLES ] I DON'T LIKE
THAT ONE BIT.
THAT MAKES ME MAD!
>> [ GASPS ]
>> [ GRUMBLING ]
>> OH, NO!
[ CRASHING, THUDDING ]
[ ALL MURMURING ]
[ DOOR CREAKS ]
>> HA HA!
HEE HEE HEE HEE!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
HUH?
>> WHY, HELLO, GREGORY.
>> HELLO.
>> I AM THE QUEEN OF THE CLOUDS.
THANK YOU FOR SAVING MY CITY.
>> YOU'RE WELCOME.
>> I SHALL GRANT YOU ONE WISH.
WHAT DO YOU WISH FOR MOST OF
ALL?
>> WELL, I'M SUPPOSED TO BE THE
LEADER, BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW TO
GET HOME.
DO YOU KNOW?
>> OF COURSE.
IF YOU WISH, I CAN CERTAINLY
SEND YOU HOME.
>> GREAT!
LET'S GO GET WIRT.
>> I'M SORRY, GREGORY, BUT WIRT
CANNOT GO WITH YOU.
HE IS TOO LOST.
>> [ GASPS ] BUT...ANYTHING IS
POSSIBLE IF YOU SET YOUR MIND TO
IT, RIGHT?
>> SEE HOW THE EDELWOOD GROWS
AROUND HIM?
THE BEAST HAS CLAIMED HIM
ALREADY.
>> OH, I SHOULD HAVE BEEN
LEADING BETTER.
I WAS GOOFING OFF AGAIN, LIKE
ALWAYS, AND NOW YOU'RE STUCK
HERE.
ISN'T THERE ANYTHING I CAN DO?
>> I'M SORRY, GREGORY.
WIRT'S FATE LIES SOLELY IN THE
BEAST'S HANDS NOW.
>> THEN I KNOW WHAT TO WISH FOR.
[ WHISPERING ]
>> [ GASPS ]
ARE YOU SURE?
THEN IT SHALL BE DONE.
[ TING! ]
>> HEY. HEY, WIRT?
>> Shh!
TRYING TO SLEEP.
>> OKAY. YOU SLEEP.
I'M SORRY I GOT US LOST, WIRT.
WILL YOU TAKE CARE OF RONALD FOR
ME?
OKAY.
I HAVE TO GO NOW.
GOODBYE, WIRT.
>> YES. COME, GREGORY.
THERE IS MUCH TO BE DONE.
>> AND THEN YOU'LL SHOW US THE
WAY HOME, RIGHT?
>> OF COURSE.
WE MADE A PROMISE, DIDN'T WE?
>> GREG. GREG?
GREG?
GREG?!
WHERE DID HE GO?
>> TRA-LA-LA-LA
>> NO. NO, NO, NO, NO!
GREG?!
[ GRUNTING ]
WHAT THE HECK?
>> TRA-LA-LA-LA
TRA-LA-LA-LA
'TISN'T MUCH THAT I REQUIRE
>> GREG?!
GREG...
WHAT DID I DO?
GREG!
GREG!
AAH!
UNH!
[ GROANS ]
>> [ SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY ]
[ GASPS ] HUH?
GREG.
OOF! AAH!
[ GROANING ]
>> OH! YOU GOT HIM!
PULL! PULL!
IS HE ALIVE?
WIRT!
>> WIRT! WIRT?
>> GR...EG...?
>> WIRT, ARE YOU OKAY?
WIRT!
>> GR...EG?
I-I-I --
>> WHERE'S GREG, WIRT?
>> BEATRICE?
[ SHUDDERED BREATHING ]
>> WIRT.
WIRT!
[ WIND HOWLING ]

Chapter 9: Into the Unknown

[ WIND RUSHING, PASTORAL MUSIC
PLAYING ]
>> THE ANGELS HAVE GONE
THE SONGS HAVE GONE SILENT
YOU'RE SINKING LIKE A STONE
BEFORE THE TIDE
THE RIVER RUNS CO-O-LD
THE FIGHT IS OVER
STILL THE HAUNTED RUINS OF
NIGHT CALL YOUR NAME
>> [ GASPS ]
>> [ INHALES DEEPLY, SQUEALS ]
[ GUITAR SOLO, VOCALIZING ]
>> MM-HMM.
[ GASPS ]
YES.
[ WIND RUSHING ]
YES.
[ GUITAR SOLO, VOCALIZING
THANK YOU, OLD LADY DANIELS.
>> GOODBYE, GREGORY.
AND PLEASE DON'T CALL ME
OLD LADY.
>> YES, SIR, YOUNG MAN.
HEY, WIRT, WHATCHA DOING?
>> NOTHING.
>> I WAS HELPING
OLD LADY DANIELS RAKE SOME
LEAVES IN EXCHANGE FOR CANDY.
>> GREG, IT'S HALLOWEEN.
CANDY IS FREE.
>> OLD LADY DANIELS SAYS NOTHING
IN THIS WORLD IS FREE.
OH, HEY, AND LOOK!
I ALSO GOT THIS ROCK.
[ Deep voice ] HEY, WIRT, WANT
TO LEARN SOME ROCK FACTS?
[ Normal voice ] SO, YOU WANT TO
GO LOOK FOR FROGS WITH ME LIKE
YOU SAID YOU WOULD AWHILE AGO
AND HAVEN'T DONE IT YET?
>> NAH. NAH, I'M BUSY.
>> IS THAT BEE NAMED SARA?
>> W-WHAT?
>> YOUR TAPE SAYS "FOR SARA."
ARE YOU GONNA GIVE IT TO
SARA THE BEE?
>> I-I WANT TO, BUT [SIGHS] I
CAN'T.
>> CAN I SEE IT?
>> YEAH. IT'S JUST A TAPE.
>> HMM. YEAH.
OKAY, I'LL GIVE IT TO HER FOR
YOU.
>> OH, GREG! W-WAIT! NO, NO!
>> [ Sweetly ] OH, LOOK AT YOU.
WHAT ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO BE?
>> IT'S AN ELEPHANT COSTUME.
[ TRUMPETING ]
PBHT! SEE MY TRUNK?
>> [ Flatly ] YEAH, THAT'S CUTE.
>> I'M AN EGG.
>> YEAH, EVERYBODY KNOWS YOU'RE
AN EGG, RHONDI.
>> SHUT IT, KATHLEEN.
>> WHATEVER.
[ Sweetly ] SO, WHAT ARE YOU,
WIRT?
SOME KIND OF GNOME?
>> UH, I D-- I DON'T KNOW.
WELL, IT'S -- SEE, I WAS -- I
THOUGHT I'D JUST, LIKE --
>> HEY, WHAT'S THIS?
>> THAT'S WIRT'S TAPE FOR SARA.
>> [ Mockingly ] OOH!
WIRT LOVES SARA!
YOU WANT US TO GIVE IT TO HER
FOR YOU?
>> UH, IT'S FOR A DIFFERENT
SARA -- NOT THE ONE YOU'RE
THINKING ABOUT.
>> YEAH, WIRT'S TALKING ABOUT
MASCOT SARA -- THE ONE HE'S BEEN
LOOKING AT ALL NIGHT.
>> WHA?!
>> [ Singsong voice ] OOH!
>> [ LAUGHS ]
>> WIRT'S GOT A CRUSH ON SARA.
[ Normal voice ] WELL, YOU
BETTER ACT FAST 'CAUSE WE HEARD
JASON FUNDERBERKER IS GONNA ASK
HER OUT AT THE HALLOWEEN PARTY
TONIGHT.
>> JASON FUNDERBERKER?
>> Together: YEAH.
>> YEAH.
>> [ STAMMERING ]
>> YOU OKAY, WIRT?
>> YEAH, EVERYTHING'S --
EVERYTHING'S JASON FUNDERBERKER.
>> Both: WHAT?
>> UH, UH, JASON FUNDERBERKER,
I-I GOT TO GO.
>> BYE!
[ ALTERNATIVE ROCK MUSIC PLAYS ]
>> IS THE DOVE NEVER TO MEET THE
SEA FOR WANT OF THE ODIOUS
MOUNTAIN?
>> HEY. SO...FROG HUNT?
>> HUH?
>> I KEEP HEARING RIBBITING
AROUND TOWN, AND I THINK IT'S
THE LAST FROG OF THE SEASON.
>> NO, I JUST WANT TO WALLOW IN
MISERY.
SARA AND JASON FUNDERBERKER.
UGH.
THAT GUY'S GOT HIS ACT TOGETHER.
HE'S THE TOTAL PACKAGE.
I CAN'T COMPETE.
>> YOU'RE THE TOTAL PACKAGE,
TOO, WIRT.
I BET SHE'LL REALLY LIKE YOUR
TAPE.
>> [ GASPS ]
WE NEVER GOT THE TAPE BACK!
I CAN'T LET HER HEAR THAT TAPE!
>> WHY NOT?
>> THAT TAPE HAS GOT POETRY AND
CLARINET ON IT, GREG.
POETRY AND CLARINET!
SARA AND JASON FUNDERBERKER ARE
GONNA START DATING, AND THEN
THEY'LL HEAR THAT TAPE, AND THEN
THEY'LL JUST SIT AND LISTEN TO
IT AND LAUGH AND LAUGH AND LAUGH
AND LAUGH.
>> WHY DON'T YOU ASK SARA OUT
FIRST?
THAT WAY --
>> NO, NO! UGH!
WHY DID YOU HAVE TO TAKE THE
TAPE?
MY LIFE IS CRUMBLING ALL AROUND
ME!
>> OKAY, I THINK WE SHOULD PUT
OUR FROG HUNT ON HOLD AND GO GET
THAT TAPE BACK.
>> GUYS, WHERE'S THE TAPE?
>> WE PUT IT IN SARA'S JACKET
FOR YOU.
>> AAH!
>> YOU BETTER HURRY.
SHE'S CHANGING IN THE TRACK
SHACK.
[ LAUGHS ]
>> SCUSE ME.
>> OH, NO.
>> THE JACKET!
[ PANTING ]
>> HEY!
ARE YOU TRYING TO SPY ON SARA?
>> UH...NO.
RUN, GREG!
>> HEY, SARA, BE CAREFUL, HUH?
THERE'S SOME REAL CREEPS OUT
THERE TONIGHT.
>> THANKS, JIMMY.
[ FILM NOIR MUSIC PLAYS ]
>> HEY, YOU TWO ROBBERS, YOU'RE
UNDER ARREST.
NAH, I'M JUST KIDDING.
HAPPY HALLOWEEN.
HEY, STOP RUNNING IN THE
STREETS!
>> THERE SHE GOES.
LET'S GET HER.
>> NO, W-WE'RE NOT GONNA GET HER
>> NO, W-WE'RE NOT GONNA GET HER
LIKE THAT.
>> WHAT ARE WE DOING?
>> WE'RE JUST GONNA GET THE TAPE
BACK.
>> OH, YEAH.
LET'S GO IN AFTER HER.
>> [ SIGHS ] I CAN'T.
[ ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYS ]
I WASN'T INVITED TO THIS PARTY.
>> I'LL GO IN.
>> YOU WEREN'T INVITED EITHER.
>> OH.
>> YEAH, MAN, THERE'S LOTS OF
BAT-AND-BALL GAMES BESIDES
BASEBALL -- ONE OLD CAT, TWO OLD
CAT, STOOLBALL, ROUNDBALL...
[ MUSIC CONTINUES, INDISTINCT
CHATTER ]
>> WHY ARE YOU TALKING TO THEM?
[ SILENCE ]
AAH!
OH. HEY...GUYS.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT HE SAID, BUT
I-IT WASN'T TRUE.
>> OH, HEY, WIRT.
HOW'S IT GOING?
>> HI, WIRT.
>> OH. UH, YEAH.
WELL, SEE YOU AROUND, GUYS.
>> I USED TO BE REALLY GOOD AT
BALLET, BUT MY MOM WANTED ME TO
BE A WRESTLER.
OH, WIRT. YOU'RE HERE.
>> WELL, I...
>> I WAS JUST ASKING IF YOU WERE
HERE.
>> OH, WOW.
[ CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY ]
>> OH, HEY, WE'RE GONNA GO TO
THE GRAVEYARD.
>> OH.
ARE YOU GONNA...DO SOMETHING
THERE?
>> NAH, WE'RE JUST GONNA HANG
OUT AND DRINK AGE-APPROPRIATE
DRINKS.
>> LIKE JUICE?
>> YEAH, WHATEVER.
AGE-APPROPRIATE STUFF THAT'S NOT
ILLEGAL.
Hey, you should come.
>> UH, I DON'T --
>> [ Nasally ] HEY, SARA.
ARE YOU READY TO GO?
>> HEY, JASON FUNDERBERKER.
>> OH, HEY, WIRT.
LET'S GO, SARA.
>> YOU COMING, WIRT?
>> NO, NO.
YOU -- YOU GO HAVE FUN WITH
JASON FUNDERBERKER.
>> OKAY.
[ Suggestively ] BUT IF YOU WANT
TO STOP BYE LATER OR
SOMETHING...
>> MM. BYE, WIRT.
>> SAYONARA, JASON FUNDERBERKER.
[ GASPS ]
SARA'S JACKET!
>> MY JACKET. THANKS, WIRT.
WELL, SEE YA -- HOPEFULLY.
>> BYE.
[ GROANS ]
>> YOU'RE LIMITING THE UNIVERSE
TO ONLY THINGS HUMANS COULD
UNDERSTAND.
>> WELL, YOU'RE LIMITING THE
UNIVERSE BY LIMITING THE
POSSIBILITY OF HUMAN
UNDERSTANDING.
>> OH, YEAH. MAYBE.
>> SARA.
>> YEAH?
>> DO YOU BELIEVE IN...GHOSTS?
>> WHY?
>> 'CAUSE THERE'S ONE RIGHT
BEHIND YOU!
AW, I'M JUST KIDDING.
>> It's okay, Funderberker.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> STOP! YOU HIT ME!
>> COME ON.
[ MONSTROUS CROAK ]
>> [ GASPS ]
WIRT, YOU TRICKED ME!
I DIDN'T KNOW THIS WAS A FROG
HUNT ALL ALONG.
>> IT NEVER WAS A --
>> [ GASPS ]
>> [ GASPS ]
>> A WITCHES GATHERING!
>> AND SO THEN...
A GUY WITH AN AXE SHOWED UP!
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> UGH.
EVERYBODY LOVES FUNDERBERKER.
WHAT DO I DO?
>> I'LL PRETEND TO BE A DEAD
ELEPHANT AND DISTRACT THEM WHILE
YOU GET THE TAPE.
>> PLEASE JUST STAY HERE.
>> AND SO SHE KEPT GETTING AND
CLOSER...
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
>> JASON.
>> OH, JASON.
>> [ GROWLS ]
GO, GREG. DO IT.
>> OKAY.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> UH...YOU CAN LET GO OF MY
HAND NOW.
>> OH...YEAH.
>> [ Nasally ] YOU COULD HOLD MY
HAND, FUNDERBERKER.
I DON'T CARE.
>> [ HOWLING ]
>> HEY, ISN'T THAT WIRT'S LITTLE
BROTHER?
>> NOOOOO.
I'M THE HEADLESS ELEPHANT.
[ TRUMPETING ]
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> LITTLE GUY.
>> IS WIRT HERE, TOO?
>> OVER THERE!
>> [ GASPS ]
>> THERE HE IS.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> WIRT, WE CAN SEE YOU, MAN.
>> [ SIGHS ] GREG.
>> WHAT ARE YOU DOING OVER
THERE?
>> OH. HEY, GUYS.
GREG! THERE YOU ARE.
TOTALLY WASN'T SPYING ON
ANYBODY.
I WAS JUST LOOKING FOR --
[ SIREN WAILS ]
>> WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?
>> HUH?
>> IS THIS SOME KIND OF
WITCHES' GATHERING?
YOU'RE ALL UNDER ARREST.
>> RUN!
>> HEY, HEY! I WAS JUST KIDDING.
[ UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS ]
SLOW DOWN, KIDS.
YOU'RE GONNA TRIP OR SOMETHING.
>> RUN, RUN, RUN! RUN, RUN, RUN!
>> WHERE DO WE GO?
>> THAT WAY!
>> GREG!
WHY DID YOU SAY THIS WAY?
>> I THOUGHT I HEARD A FROG.
[ SIREN WAILS ]
>> [ GASPS ]
>> THIS IS PRIVATE PROPERTY.
>> UH...
>> HEY, DON'T CLIMB UP THERE.
THAT'S DANGEROUS!
GET DOWN HERE BEFORE YOU HURT
YOURSELF!
>> HUH?
>> IT HAS MY NAME ON IT.
>> [ GASPS ]
>> LET'S GO LISTEN TO IT.
[ LAUGHS ]
>> Noooooooooooo!
>> KIDS, REALLY, GET DOWN FROM
THAT WALL.
>> THAT'S IT. THAT'S THE END.
>> NO, DARN IT. NO.
I MEAN COME DOWN THIS WAY.
[ BOTH GRUNT ]
>> [ GROANS ]
ONCE AGAIN, YOU RUIN MY LIFE.
[ MUSIC ENDS ]
>> WHO? ME?
>> UGH! YOU AND YOUR STUPID DAD!
YOU'RE ALWAYS PRODDING ME,
TRYING TO GET ME TO JOIN
MARCHING BAND.
>> OH, YEAH!
IF YOU JOIN THE MARCHING BAND,
YOU COULD HANG OUT WITH SARA
MORE!
>> THAT SHIP HAS SAILED, GREG,
THANKS TO YOU MESSING THAT UP,
TOO.
[ MONSTROUS CROAK ]
>> [ GASPS ]
HOLD THAT THOUGHT, WIRT.
MM.
>> WHAT ARE YOU DOING NOW?
>> HA HA!
WE FOUND OUR LUCKY FROG.
WE GOT TO NAME HIM FOR GOOD
LUCK.
>> [ CROAKS ]
>> I DON'T WANT TO HAVE ANYTHING
TO DO WITH YOUR OR THAT FROG!
>> OKAY, I'LL TRY TO THINK OF A
NAME MYSELF.
[ TRAIN APPROACHING ]
>> UGH. I'M LEAVING.
>> HMM?
>> HUH?
[ TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING ]
>> AAH!
[ FOLK MUSIC PLAYS ]
>> THERE'S AN OLD BLACK TRAIN
A-COMIN'
SCRAPING 'LONG THE IRON
YOU DON'T NEED NO TICKET,
BOY
IT'LL TAKE YOU IN IT'S TIME
>> [ HUMMING PLEASANTLY ]
[ WIND RUSHING ]
>> HUH? WHERE...
HUH?
>> OH. YOU'RE AWAKE.
HERE, EAT SOME DIRT.
>> [ SPITS ]
UH, BEATRICE?
>> YOU KNOW MY DAUGHTER!
[ GASPS ] WHERE IS SHE?
>> I DON'T KNOW.
>> [ CROAKS ]
>> SOMEBODY LEFT YOU AND THAT
FROG ON THE DOORSTEP.
>> BEATRICE.
BUT HAVE YOU SEEN MY BROTHER?
>> NO, I'M SORRY.
>> UH, I GOTTA GO!
>> YOU'RE IN NO SHAPE TO HEAD
INTO THAT SNOWSTORM, YOUNG MAN.
HERE, HERE, EAT MORE DIRT.
>> THANKS.
COME ON, GUY.
LET'S GO FIND GREG.
>> AT LEAST WAIT UNTIL THE STORM
DIES DOWN A BIT.
YOU'LL BE NO GOOD TO YOUR
BROTHER DEAD.
>> I WAS NEVER ANY GOOD TO HIM
ALIVE, EITHER.
THANK YOU. THANK YOU SO MUCH.
[ SOFT MUSIC PLAYS ]
>> IF YOU SEE BEATRICE AGAIN,
GIVE HER A HUG FOR US.
>> YEAH.
[ MYSTERIOUS CLASSICAL PIANO
PLAYS ]

Chapter 10:The Unknown

[ WIND RUSHING,
PASTORAL MUSIC PLAYING ]
>> [ SIGHS ]
OH!
HUH?
GREG?
>> DID YOU FETCH FOR ME THE
GOLDEN COMB?
>> WILL THAT WORK?
>> THIS IS A HONEYCOMB.
>> GOLDEN COMB OF HONEY.
HEE-HEE-HEE HEE HEE.
>> GREG! OH!
[ WHIMPERS ]
OH!
GRE-E-G!
>> HUH?
>> NEVER MIND THAT, GREGORY.
YOU'VE BROUGHT ME THE FIRST TWO
ITEMS -- A GOLDEN COMB AND A
SPOOL OF SILVER THREAD.
>> IT'S JUST SPIDER WEB ON A
STICK.
>> NOW I WANT THE SUN.
>> THE SUN?
>> HERE.
LOWER THE SUN OUT OF THE SKY AND
INTO THIS CHINA CUP.
>> UH, WELL, THAT SOUNDS
IMPOSSIBLE.
>> ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE IF YOU
SET YOUR MIND TO IT, RIGHT?
BUT HURRY, THE SUN WILL BE
SETTING SOON, AND --
>> HEY, YEAH, THAT'S IT.
DUH DIH-DUNH
DUNH-DUNH DIN-DUNH
DUH DIN-DIN DUNH
[ WIND WHISTLING ]
SEE, THAT OLD SUN'S GOING RIGHT
DOWN INTO THIS OLD CUP.
>> YOU HAVE FIGURED IT OUT, AND
I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT GIVE UP.
>> GIVE UP? I'LL NEVER GIVE UP.
[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]
JUST GOT TO WAIT, JUST GOT TO
WAIT.
>> YES, JUST SIT THERE IN THE
COLD AND WAIT.
[ WIND WHISTLING ]
>> HUH?
>> AAAAH!
>> AAH!
>> OHH.
>> WHAT THE...
>> OHH. OHH.
>> BEATRICE?
>> [ GASPS ] WIRT!
>> BEATRICE!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT HERE?!
>> I SAW GREG!
>> WHAT?!
>> I SAW GREG.
HE WAS W-WITH SOMEONE.
THIS WAY!
OR WAIT. UM...
>> BEATRICE, YOU SHOULD GO HOME.
>> I CAN'T -- NOT YET.
NOT UNTIL GREG IS SAFE.
>> OKAY.
>> WE SHOULD HURRY.
I -- I THINK IT WAS THAT WAY.
>> THANK YOU, BEATRICE.
[ MUSIC BOX PLAYS SOFTLY ]
>> [ COUGHS ]
OHH.
[ SIGHS ]
[ GASPS ]
HERE! EDELWOOD!
YOU SEE?
THIS WILL GIVE US SOME OIL,
WON'T IT?
YES, WE'LL KEEP THAT LIGHT OF
YOURS SHINING, WON'T WE?
COME ON.
OHH!
AW! YOU...
>> [ SINGING INDISTINCTLY
IN DISTANCE ]
>> [ GASPS ]
OH! OH!
>> ...DARKNESS
THERE IS A LIGHT FOR THE LOST
AND THE MEEK
SORROW AND FEAR ARE EASILY
FORGOTTEN
WHEN YOU SUBMIT TO THE SOIL OF
THE EARTH
WOODSMAN, I KNEW YOU WOULD
COME.
I HAVE SOMETHING FOR YOU.
>> [ GASPS ]
OH! OH! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!
>> WHY, I'VE GIVEN YOU ANOTHER
EDELWOOD.
>> NO!!
>> HE WILL BURN NICELY IN THE
LANTERN.
>> NO! I WON'T DO THIS!
>> YOU'VE BEEN GRINDING UP LOST
SOULS FOR YEARS.
>> I DIDN'T KNOW!
I DIDN'T KNOW THIS IS WHERE THE
EDELWOOD TREES CAME FROM!
>> AND WOULD IT HAVE MATTERED?
WOULD YOU HAVE JUST LET YOUR
DAUGHTER'S SPIRIT BURN OUT
FOREVER?
FEED THE LANTERN.
>> NO.
>> I SUPPOSE, AFTER ALL THESE
YEARS, YOU JUST DON'T CARE FOR
HER ANYMORE.
>> HOLD YOUR TONGUE, OR I'LL
REMOVE IT FROM YOUR MOUTH!
DO NOT SPEAK OF MY DAUGHTER.
SHE WOULD NOT WISH THIS.
LET'S GET YOU FREE.
>> AHH.
>> NO.
[ GASPS ]
>> I ONLY WISH TO HELP YOU,
WOODSMAN.
YOU NEED OIL, OR ELSE YOUR
DAUGHTER WILL --
>> I TOLD YOU TO HOLD YOUR
TONGUE!
>> [ LAUGHING ]
>> [ GRUNTING ]
[ WIND WHISTLING ]
>> GREG?
GREG!
>> I THOUGHT IT WAS THIS WAY.
>> A LIGHT.
>> A LANTERN.
>> IT LOOKS LIKE THE WOODSMAN'S.
>> WHOA.
WHAT HAPPENED HERE?
>> [ GASPS ] GREG!
GREG!
ARE YOU...
>> WIRT?
>> OH, GREG!
>> WIRT, I DID IT.
I BEAT THE BEAST.
[ COUGHING ]
>> AW, GEEZ, THE LEAVES ARE EVEN
GROWING INSIDE OF HIM.
>> NO. [ SPITS ]
I WAS JUST EATING LEAVES.
I'M SORRY, WIRT.
>> NO, NO, GREG.
[ SNIFFLES ]
IT'S MY FAULT WE ENDED UP HERE.
EVERYTHING'S BEEN MY FAULT.
I-I SHOULD HAVE BEEN MORE --
>> NO, I MEAN MY ROCK FACTS
ROCK.
>> WHAT?
>> WHAT?
>> I -- I STOLE IT, WIRT.
I STOLE IT FROM MRS. DANIEL'S
GARDEN.
I'M A STEALER.
AND THAT'S A ROCK FACT.
>> WHAT?
NO, GREG, THAT DOESN'T MATTER.
>> IT DOES MATTER.
[ COUGH ]
YOU HAVE TO RETURN IT FOR ME,
OKAY?
>> NO, YOU CAN GIVE IT TO HER
YOURSELF.
COME ON, WE GOT TO GET
JASON FUNDERBERKER HOME, RIGHT?
>> [ CROAKS ]
>> JASON FUNDERBERKER -- THE
PERFECT...FROG NAME.
>> GREG?
GREG?!
>> LET'S GET HIM OUT OF THIS!
COME ON!
>> YEAH. YEAH.
[ GRUNTING ]
COME ON!
>> IT'S GONNA BE FINE, WIRT.
>> [ GRUNTING ]
>> [ GRUNTS ]
>> [ GASPS ]
>> GIVE ME MY LANTERN.
>> YOUR LANTERN?
>> NO WAY. WE NEED THIS THING.
>> YEAH, I'M KEEPING THIS.
I HAVE TO GET GREG HOME.
>> YOUR BROTHER IS TOO WEAK TO
GO HOME.
HE WILL SOON BECOME PART OF MY
FOREST.
>> I WON'T LET THAT HAPPEN!
>> WELL, THEN, PERHAPS WE BETTER
MAKE A DEAL.
>> DEAL?
>> OHH.
>> I CAN PUT HIS SPIRIT IN THE
LANTERN.
AS LONG AS THE FLAME STAYS LIT,
HE WILL LIVE ON INSIDE.
TAKE ON THE TASK OF
LANTERN BEARER...
OR WATCH YOUR BROTHER PERISH.
COME HERE.
>> [ SIGHS ]
OKAY.
>> [ GASPS ]
WIRT!
>> WAIT. THAT'S DUMB.
>> WHAT?
>> THAT'S DUMB.
I'M NOT JUST GONNA JUST WANDER
AROUND IN THE WOODS FOR THE REST
OF MY LIFE.
>> I'M TRYING TO HELP YOU.
>> YOU'RE NOT TRYING TO HELP ME.
YOU JUST HAVE SOME WEIRD
OBSESSION WITH KEEPING THIS
LANTERN LIT.
IT'S ALMOST LIKE YOUR SOUL IS
IN THIS LANTERN.
>> [ GASPS ]
>> [ GROWLING ]
[ Deep voice ] ARE YOU READY TO
SEE TRUE DARKNESS?
[Voice cracking] ARE YOU?
[ CLEARS THROAT ]
[ Normal voice ] ARE YOU?
[ INHALES DEEPLY ]
[ BEGINS TO EXHALE ]
[ BEGINS TO EXHALE ]
>> DON'T! DON'T!
>> [ SCOFFS ]
>> [ GASPS ]
>> HERE, WOODSMAN.
I'VE GOT MY OWN PROBLEMS TO TAKE
CARE OF.
THIS ONE'S YOURS.
>> [ SIGHS ]
>> MY BROTHER AND I ARE GOING
HOME.
>> SHE WAS NEVER IN THE LANTERN,
WAS SHE, BEAST?
>> LISTEN, WOODSMAN.
LISTEN TO ME.
>> [ GRUNTING ]
[ SIGHS ]
>> WIRT...
>> COME WITH US.
>> I -- I GOT TO GO HOME, TOO,
ADMIT TO MY FAMILY IT'S MY FAULT
THEY'RE BLUEBIRDS.
>> [ CLEARS THROAT ]
>> WHAT?!
>> THE SCISSORS THAT'LL MAKE
YOUR FAMILY HUMAN AGAIN.
>> YOU HAD THEM ALL ALONG!?
>> I-I USED THEM TO ESCAPE
ADELAIDE, AND THEN -- THEN...
>> YEAH, I-I WAS SORT OF MAD AT
YOU.
>> OH, YOU...WONDERFUL MISTAKE
OF NATURE!
>> YOU SEE, WOODSMAN?
ALL WHO PERISH HERE WILL BECOME
TREES FOR THE LANTERN.
CUT THEM DOWN WITH YOUR AX.
GO! NOW!
>> NO!
>> [ GROWLS ]
>> STOP!
YOU'LL NEVER SEE YOUR DAUGHTER
AGAIN, WOODSMAN.
ARE YOU REALLY READY TO GO BACK
TO THAT EMPTY HOUSE?
NO! WOODSMAN!
>> [ BLOWS SHARPLY ]
>> [ GROWLS ]
>> GOODBYE, BEATRICE.
>> GOODBYE, WIRT.
>> ONE IS A BIRD
TWO ARE THE TREES
THREE IS THE WIND IN THE
LEAVES
>> HELP. [ SIGHS ]
>> [ GASPS ]
>> WIRT!
>> FOUR ARE THE STARS
[ SIREN WAILS IN DISTANCE ]
FIVE WITH THE MOON
>> WIRT? YOU OK?
CAN YOU SEE ME, WIRT?
>> HMM. WHERE AM I?
>> THE HOSPITAL.
>> HOSP...ITAL?
GREG! WHERE'S GREG?!
>> AND THEN...
[ GASPS ]
WIRT!
I WAS TELLING THEM ABOUT THE
TIME WE ALMOST GOT --
>> [ CROAKS ]
>> [ LAUGHS ]
YEAH, AND YOU WERE THERE, TOO,
JASON FUNDERBERKER.
>> ME?
>> NOT YOU.
JASON FUNDERBERKER, MY FROG.
>> [ CROAKS ]
>> OUR FROG.
>> OUR FROG
>> OUR FROG?
>> NO, NOT YOUR FROG.
>> HEY, SO...
UH...
ABOUT THIS...
>> UMM...
>> YEAH, SO, I DON'T HAVE A
TAPE PLAYER, SO...
>> UH, YEAH.
>> SO MAYBE WE CAN LISTEN TO
THIS...
>> YOU CAN LISTEN TO IT AT MY
HOUSE.
YES.
MAYBE -- MAYBE WE SHOULD LISTEN
TO SOME OTHER TAPES FIRST,
THOUGH, AND SORT OF WORK OUR WAY
TO THIS ONE.
THIS ONE IS A LITTLE BIT...
UH, YEAH, I MEAN, Y-YOU CAN
LISTEN TO IT...
>> AND SO THE STORY IS COMPLETE,
>> AND SO THE STORY IS COMPLETE,
AND EVERYONE IS SATISFIED WITH
THE ENDING.
AND SO ON AND SO FORTH, AND YET,
OVER THE GARDEN WALL...
>> HOW THE GENTLE WIND
BECKONS THROUGH THE LEAVES
[Door opens]
>> FATHER?
>> AS AUTUMN COLOURS FALL
DANCING IN A SWIRL OF GOLDEN MEMORIES
THE LOVELIEST LIES OF ALL
[Whistling]
[Horse whinnies]
>> HONEY? EAT YOUR DIRT.
>> MOM, STOP CALLING IT DIRT.
>> WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT,
TURN US INTO BLUEBIRDS AGAIN?
[Laughter]
>> MOM...
[Laughter]
>> NOW, EAT YOUR DIRT.
>> THE LOVELIEST LIES OF ALL

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